Grasping the End

My grandmother Ruth died early Saturday morning after a battle with cancer. As I posted a few weeks ago, I thought a lot of my grandmother and will miss her very much.

Her death, however, was more a relief, which feels wrong to say, so allow me to explain. This was my first adult experience with such a circumstance and I didn't know what to expect when she was diagnosed with cancer more than nine months ago. It feels wrong to say, but her battle with cancer had become so uncomfortable (and obviously so hopeless for recovery), that I even wished for her death on her behalf. She wanted it to end and said so when she could.

I used to wonder if I was robbed of my chance to say goodbye to my father, who was taken from us unexpectedly and instantly. But, after now experiencing the sadness of a prolonged and very uncomfortable and slow regression before death, I can honestly say that neither is preferable. Considering its an inevitability, preference might be the wrong word, but I think you get my meaning.

The end result remains the same because we all miss her and hate to lose her from our lives. However, because her fate was mapped out for us to see, my family has been more able to turn the expected end into a celebration of her life. I think the reason is that the actual loss was confronted as we came to accept the inevitable.

She is already sorely missed, and her influence in our lives has never been more deeply felt.

BOOK UPDATES

-- I've just finished "The World Without Us" by Alan Weisman. It's a great book about what would happen to the world if humans disappeared overnight. It is an "imaginative" non-fiction in that it contemplates a hypothetical based on scientific facts. Very well done. It's just so interesting.

My reaction was more pronounced toward the delicate balance we walk even WITH us here. For example, our use of nuclear energy (even non-bomb atomic energy) produces some extremely nasty stuff and our disposal methods leave much to be desired. The book explains what happens to those materials and how they would escape, but it also illustrates how fine a line exists between "containment" of radioactive waste and "rampant cancer-causing plumes stretching for miles around."

Most unnerving is how plastics accumulate. The chain reactions that result from the most seemingly-mundane things (like plastic toys) are just plain bothersome. It's a real cringe-inducing experience. Try googling "North Pacific Gyre" sometime if you want specifics. (Hint: it's where our trash accumulates in the ocean.)

Also, after reading this book, I will not be living in Manhattan. Ever. Apparently 700+ pumps (many pumping against gravity) are all that separates that huge city from being a marsh. Big trouble can happen within an hour of loss of power. Yikes.

-- I finished my "epic" book of the year, "Bearing the Cross" by David Garrow. Amazing look at MLK and the civil rights movement. The turmoil, the hurdles, and the courage displayed were all painstakingly broken down.

I've said it before, but MLK, to me, is the greatest citizen this country has ever produced. King's deeds, more than any other personal experience or person I've known, inspire me toward spirituality. A reverend who took to the streets to assist in deed to eliminate the most shameful element of post-slavery America: Segregation.

Most illuminating were the lengths to which the government (even Kennedy) went to spy on King. He was a marked man, his every move was watched, and yet he was able to accomplish real change for the betterment of people. One of the best books I've read in a very long time.

Black Friday 2

Well, last year I spent Black Friday watching Colorado vs. Nebraska with Book and we had such a grand time documenting the experience via duelling-running-diaries that we did it again. Although, considering that Book and I debated whether I can call this season a disaster or not, it was probably a poor choice on my part. We brought the Fuzz along, so this should be fun.

To make matters worse, we chose Jackson's as the setting. Jackson's featured many tractors-full of Husker fans and even a Nebraska-themed "raffle" giving away various signs you might be a redneck. I should have known what lay ahead when I saw riding mowers with sidecars in the parking lot, but I plowed ahead anyway.

Must be time for some football! (Time stamp denotes official game time in the indicated quarter).

FIRST QUARTER

14:25 -- CU's first possession ends in a 68-yard TD pass to TE Geer. Color me shocked. Once again, the Buffs are trying to reel me in. I'm not yet fooled (yet) because I know the Buff defense stinks. Still, nice start.

7-0 CU

11:07 -- After forcing a punt, CU goes 80-yards in two plays for another TD. Demitrius Sumler rumbles 36 yards untouched to give CU a 14-point lead. I know he was untouched because he was standing when he reached the endzone. That's the farthest Sumler has run without falling down since the IHOP opened near his dorm. I guess what I'm saying is if Sumler goes 36 yards, maybe NU's defense can keep the Buffs' hopes alive!

CU capitalizes by kicking a squib kick and handing the Huskers wonderful field position.
14-0 CU

5:46 -- Nebraska scores when its TE failed to drop a pass because of sun glare. He was so alone, the sun was CU's only defense. NU celebrates with a mass-release of red balloons. State of the art stadiums and jumbo trons may be the new thing, but the locals apparently remain puzzled by the mystery of floating rubber.

This seem like a good time to mention that the Jackson's Husker fans cheer wildly for every first down. It must really stink to have nothing else to look forward to in life but wind and corn stalks. These folks haven't been this happy since they successfully welded a sidecar onto a riding mower.

The broadcast just showed a tractor of some sort shooting grain of some sort into another truck on a dreary day as it transitioned to commercial. "Visit Nebraska, where tractor rides and boredom happen." I'm bitter.

14-7 CU

4:04 -- After a CU three-and-out, Nebraska scores on one play. I knew it would happen, but I was hoping CU could hold the lead for an entire quarter. Apparently #47 for CU is the nephew of one Tony Lilly because of his unique ability to squander the angle with his special lack of speed. I think he was 10 yards behind the TE 25 yards down the field. (For those not "in the know" about Mr. Lilly, he's the Bronco safety who can be seen on NFL films chasing at least four different Redskin receivers from no closer than 10 yards away in SB XXII).

14-14 tie (that was quick)

Above: The only time Tony Lilly has ever touched Art Monk (It must be in the end zone).

1:56 -- Cody Hawkins has a pass deflected by one Husker and picked by another. NU has the ball in the red zone. Uh oh. I openly wonder how the heck that happens and Book lays down the truth. "That's what happens when your QB is 5-7." My response? (bleep).

SECOND QUARTER

12:14 -- Nebraska kicks a field goal.

17-14 NU.

9:05 -- After a great kickoff return by Josh Smith of CU, the Buffs proceed to go gimmicky and bring in the running QB (Hansen). This leads to my pounding on the table and becoming essentially combative. Hansen (the running QB with no arm) proceeds to run two straight QB draws (who knew?). Cody comes back in to get the first down on third-and-long and then each QB takes a turn at being sacked. CU has been experimenting with QB rotation this year and it makes me crazy.

CU's 5-of-16 kicker who was run out of Laramie for incompetence manages to tie the game leading to Book and Fuzz being subjected to my all-time frustration rant. The kicker must possess pictures of a naked Dan Hawkins flirting with a bunch of rodeo clowns. There is no other reason for him to be the starting kicker. I mean, this guy missed (MISSED!!!) an XP in OT to give UVA a victory over UW a few years back. I guess he isn't all bad.

A two-minute drive has accomplished 15 yards and, against all odds, three points. I'm officially upset.

(By the way, the QB-rotation-during-a-game-to-keep-them-off-balance trick has NEVER worked in the history of humanity. Dan Hawkins, we need to have a talk. If I were the AD, any coach I hire would have only one rule -- If you ever rotate QBs in any one game, you are FIRED!!!! I don't ask for much.)

17-17 tie (against all odds, the kick was good).

DO NOT TRY THIS ON YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM!!!

6:04 -- Book and Fuzz are still talking me down from my epic rant regarding QB shuffles. I think I'm making surrounding patrons uncomfortable. (Does no one remember when the Broncos shuffled Shawn Moore and Tommy Maddox? Anyone? )

2:03 -- Nebraska finishes a textbook long, grinding drive. They used the same QB for the duration and he never got tired. Like a tractor cutting through tall grass, the Huskers would not be denied.

24-17 NU.

2:00 -- Nebraska accidentally recovered an onside kick when their short kick hit #32 for CU right in the face. Nebraska is looking to end it right here.

1:11 -- A stroke of luck! Nebraska lines up for what would be a long field goal, but the snapper flips the ball over his head to the kicker, who is awaiting the blind-pitch. A CU player intercepts it and takes it to the house for an improbable TD right before the half. Amazing play. CU managed to tie the game without taking a snap on offense for what seems like days.

24-24 tie at the half.

THIRD QUARTER

9:49 -- Nebraska took more than 5 minutes to march the length of the field and take the lead with a field goal. It feels like forever since CU was on offense. This is what you get for taunting the football Gods with blasphemous QB rotations.

27-24 NU

5:39 -- CU responds with a nice drive of its own that includes some huge third-down conversions. Sumler rumbles for another TD. Someone get that man some pancakes!

31-27 CU

1:31 -- Nebraska is marching down the field slowly again. The Buff defense has got to be spent. Nebraska now holds a 64-26 advantage in offensive snaps and a 34-12 time-of-possession advantage. Somehow, CU still leads.

FOURTH QUARTER

12:45 - 8:55 -- After a long march, Nebraska fumbles on the Buff 5. Unfortunately, CU manages four plays before punting again. I am now being restrained by Book and Fuzz. NU gets the punt and starts at the CU 25. This is asking an awful lot from a defense that has been on the field all game. Still, CU holds the Huskers to another FG.

31-30 CU (inconceivably)

8:03 -- CU gets the ball back. They have learned their lesson with alternating QBs, but they run two-straight QB draws with the one who can't run. I give up. Book says "isn't that Hansen in at QB now just to test my tolerance for rapid blood-pressure spikes. "No, I guess that's still Cody... I wonder why they ran it with him twice. Oh well." That was mean.

An improbable third-and-long conversion prompts Book to state that the Buffs have entered the "twilight zone" where everything goes right for them. I stare a hole through him.

4:43 -- CU punts and Nebraska will have another shot at winning the game against a CU defense as punch drunk as Gerry Cooney in a 1980s title fight. This should be nerve-wracking. (On a side note, the announcer just said that Nebraska needs a point to tie. Chew on that one for awhile).

2:28 -- After Nebraska gutted CU's defense to get into easy scoring range, CU comes up with an improbable sack at the CU 40, setting up a fourth-and-twenty-five with the game on the line. Looks like CU holds on. At this point, Book decides to say we should do this every year since it's a good luck charm now that CU has won.

1:43 -- A Nebraska fan shouts "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" as the kicker lines up for a 57-yard field goal. The 57-yarder goes through with about 4 yards to spare and Jackson's erupts. I again stare a hole through Book. I then beat him over the head with my chair... in my mind.

Fuzz then intentionally piles on by pointing out that CU has avoided turnovers to this point.

33-31 NU

1:24 -- Another tipped pass is picked off and, this time, returned for a TD. Fuzz is now very proud of himself and takes full credit for the pick-6. It's deserved. I am now thinking of beating the riding mower traffic out of the establishment. The mass-clicking of overalls into place signals the coming rush for the door.

40-31 NU FINAL

Just for the record, I think there is NO WAY FSU (Book's favorite team) could EVER give up 70 points to Florida. How's that for a reverse jinx?

Well, at least I didn't get trampled at the mall by crazy Black Friday shoppers. Rather, I subjected myself to a herd of Buffalo trampling my heart.

A Special Thanks

On this Thanksgiving, I would like to give a special thanks to my Grandmother, D. Ruth McCarthy (seen above at he introduction to Jacob).



She is on our minds today because this will surely be her final Thanksgiving if not her final days. She has been battling a rather aggressive cancer for the past nine months and her days have turned, unfortunately, less and less comfortable.

She and my mom have always been the most sweet and loving people I've known in my life. She has 6 children, 14 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren, and she has made a positive, loving and meaningful impact on all 40 of us. She exudes a caring spirit dispenses only sage advice and unconditional love.


It was just a few months ago that she saw my office for the first time. My mom brought grandma over on a whim. I happened do be free at the time and was delighted to have her see my office. I was very moved by how much it meant to her to see my office. She smiled joyfully and clasped her hands in front of her as she gazed around. She still has a talent for making us all feel special.



Last weekend, while we were on our way to do some Christmas shopping, Jacob voiced his preference from the back seat. "Go see gramma Roo-s?" he asked. We altered our course and had a nice visit. It appears that Jacob was on to something because that day was one of the very few comfortable days she has had since. As we said our good-byes, Jacob offered his head to her for a good-bye kiss.

We are all just so grateful to have her influence, her love and her support in our lives. She will be in our thoughts and the focus of our thanks on this Thanksgiving.



Me and Grandma on Turkey Day a few years ago.

Moving On

Now that the election is over, I can finally focus my attention and passions on other things. After a few days of withdrawal from national polls and the horse-race of daily election news, I've decided to take inventory of what I have to look forward to in the post-election world.

It's almost like I've been away for a few months. My focus now turns to my wonderful little family, hobbies that were placed on the back burner and to the long-term project that inspired this blog.

I have always made time for Jacob and that won't change. However, now that Saturdays and Thursday evenings are open once again, I will enjoy more of my off-time with my special little guy. We've been playing a lot lately, and I have been reading to him more.

I look forward to reclaiming Saturday as our day together. Until canvassing took most of my Saturdays, that was our day to visit family, go on errands and just do things together to give Jen a break. He has noticed my enhanced availability already, which is nice.

As for hobbies, I am back to the book challenge just in time. I am now past the half-way point of "Bearing the Cross." After that book, I will then try to plow through "Angels and Demons," "Da Vinci Code" and "The World Without Us" before the new year. I managed to go from way ahead of pace to barely on pace to finish during the campaign push.

I missed my non-political reading, and jumping back into it has been great.

Finally, I'm starting to consider focusing my efforts toward organizing the thoughts I have thus-far expressed and shaping future posts to create a book, as was my original intention for the blog.

Now that I have something from which to draw, I think it'll be easier. I welcome all ideas or discussion topics.

Euphoria

Check out the 3:19 mark of this one.



Check out the 1:04 mark.



Reaction at Dr. King's Atlanta church.

YES!!!!

I volunteered all day today. My day started at 4:45 a.m. and ended after the polls closed. I can't stop watching history tonight and I'm not even tired.

I am just so happy that this has happened. I chose to watch the returns with my family. Specifically, I wanted to watch with Jacob because I think he has such a stake in the future.

I have so many thoughts, but I'll just boil them down to a select few. First, I can't help but think that the paradigm of an entire generation has shifted. No one will ever be able to convince any young child of today that race matters a hill of beans when measuring ability. It just won't happen. They will always be able to remember when a black man was elected president. I cannot think of a better or more healing tonic for racial relations in the future.

I have never felt like I owned a piece of a campaign like this before. Our Loveland team worked hard all day and impressed me with its real passion. Anyone who doubts this was a grass-roots effort didn't see the campaign office buzz on any given night, work night or not.

Finally, I just want to say...

YES!!!!!

A phone call from Barack

Tonight, I was on a conference call with Barack Obama.

My Loveland team was one of thousands of neighborhood teams from across the nation to be in on a call from Senator Obama so he could express his thanks (live) and give us all a pep talk for the final stretch.

We are in full Get Out The Vote (GOTV) mode for the campaign nationwide and we've been putting in long hours. Today was an especially tough day for me because I was scheduled for the whole day and happen to be sick. The shifts are busy, but between-shift time can lull. We all did our jobs and talked as usual about the things that inspire us to give of our time.

We had a successful day from our staging location and we surpassed our goals. Our volunteers are always energetic, but I think we were all feeling the strains of the final push. Then, toward the end of the final shift, I got the call from our field organizers that we could call in to hear live from Senator Obama himself.

Our whole operation stopped when I was overheard saying into my phone, "You mean, WE get to talk to Barack Obama?!?!?" She gave us the call-in number and our office re-energized.

We set up a speakerphone and called in promptly 15 minutes early. Campaign manager David Plouffe came on and dazzled us with statistics. He said our organization was unprecedented in American political history and that what we are doing has surpassed theory and become an enormous reality. Then, he proved it with numbers.

• 13.3 million direct contacts with registered voters (contacts... not calls made or doors knocked, but actual human contacts);
• 1.9 million new voters registered (folks, tell me how that isn't the election right there?);
• Well over 1 million GOTV shifts worked in the last 2 weeks;
• A new 500,000-voter registration drive in North Carolina alone (NC previously had more Republicans registered than Dems);
• A new 25,000-voter registration advantage in Colorado;

These are just a few of the statistics that amazed us.

Senator Obama took the call just after landing in Missouri and moments before speaking at a Rally in Springfield, MO. He started by saying "I am proud of all of you," and calling us the "lifeblood of the operation." He credited us with helping turn states blue that haven't been that way in decades.

He said we've "stunned the country" with our efforts and our ground game and encouraged us to push through because "we can't let history slip through our hands."

Clearly, the man is inspiring, and he rallied the troops. We are all re-energized for the final push and we are ready to celebrate together after another long, but fulfilling, day of volunteering on Tuesday night.