Have you ever had a week?

*NOTE:  I wrote this last night and today the Boston Marathon was bombed.  I am not surprised people would do such a thing because I see people do bad things all the time in my work.  I am sure many would feel like the singers watching the TV as they suffer inside at the scenes in front of them.  I had no idea how apt it would feel when I wrote this last night.  I do not edit it so it will stand as it was.



Have you ever had a week where you just feel bled?

I've had a few such weeks recently, as we all have, but these last few just about take the cake.  Much like the video above, I feel as if I've been slowly bled.  Pristine white turned to crimson as the time goes effortlessly, and yet, the blood flows smooth and quick without notice.

I am looking around at my stained clothes as week-three looms.  Wounded by a thousand paper cuts.  I may have overestimated the shelf-life of specializing in messes.

I love the video because they watch the depressing news on a TV (just sitting there) and just start bleeding.  I've always thought it was a clever performance and idea.

Update... what's going on?

So, what's new?  Here is a brief update and some contemplation.

-- Jacob lost two teeth in two days and now has lost all four of his bottom front teeth.

-- I do not like that too many of my posts have been mirrored to the 25 books site because it shows I am slacking.  I say this even though my goal is to write on my private book blog and not do much here.  So, I guess I'll try to keep it brief.

-- I just finished reading The Hobbit to Jacob tonight.  He wanted to start Fellowship of the Ring right away, but that will be tomorrow.  Jacob has listened to me read all seven of the Harry Potter books and has now sat through the first of Tolkien's four-part saga.  I predict he will sit through this one as well. We discussed the differences between movies and books.  The kid is sharp and asks very intelligent questions.

-- I continue to struggle with nuances that I described in the previous posts (about revenge and other basics posted about below).  I am going to try to focus my energies on flushing those thoughts out in the book.  I have been bad about writing lately for a few reasons.  My big-book mania has gotten in the way, work has been insanely busy and various other life changes have also led to some halting.  However, the story never leaves my mind and I find myself contemplating it often.

-- Much is changing for our family and the adjustments, both immediate and anticipated, are starting to be felt.  It is welcome and necessary, but that does not preclude discomfort.

-- I think the newer concepts to my mind that I most want to work through in the book are the burdens of logic and the mind-withering materialism of our world.  I have seen examples of these recently and really want to create scenes that hit those concepts.

-- For the first time I can remember, I did not fill out a March Madness bracket and did not even watch a single game.  I am starting to drift further and further from sports.  I am even starting to go back on my initial intention to involve Jacob in sports.  Even though I enjoyed sports growing up, I do not see the same fire in Jacob for that form of competition (he is INTENSELY competitive, but not for sport) and I am starting to look down my nose at it a bit.  The boy has brains and I don't want him to use his head to advance a football.  That said, I actually have begun to almost fear for his future based on his intellectual maturity.  I fear the gleam of wonder will be too quickly removed and will more quickly be invaded by the cynicism that follows advanced logical thought.  Wow, there is no way to express that concern without sounding elitist.  Yet, it remains my fear.  There is always some fear, whether extreme or small. I consider this one small in the immediate sense, but it does concern me long-term.  Cynicism injected too early can bring a deep melancholy.  I know, first-world problems, but still.  I'm a parent.

-- I should really be working on the project I promised to work on.  It will come. Although I have not written, it continues to simmer and move.

Count of Monte Cristo II: This time, It's Revenge!

March 23 met with a snowstorm, meaning we braved the elements to get Jacob to his promised Laser Tag Birthday celebration.  It also meant cancellation of last week's book discussion about the first 1/3 of the Count of Monte Cristo.  It was rescheduled for Saturday, March 30, and I got to go.

As always it was a good discussion and enlightening.  And, as with all discussions, I revisited it many times in my mind.  However, what I thought was an understood and widely-accepted maxim turned into the crux of the debate. It turns out that revenge has more sympathy as a motive than I ever expected.  I always believed (and still do) that revenge, although a very tempting motive, is ultimately a bad motive.  In my mind, the discussion got turned on its logical head and I've been trying to set it right in my own mind these last few days.

Two concepts raised in the discussion gave me pause.  First was the assertion that "forgive and forget" is selfish and that revenge (as opposed to justice) should be used as a protection for others.  The second was the assumption that anyone's feelings of "forgive and forget" should understandably fall aside once an "extreme" (undefined) injustice happens to a loved one.

I disagree with these points and feel more comfortable giving thorough reasons after reflection.  Forgiveness is gracious, but revenge is selfish, and this should hold true in the face of any injustice suffered.  But, as I will try to explain, I think the confusion resulted from a mixing of revenge and justice (two very different things).  I think we are tempted to fill in the gaps of our always-imperfect system of justice.  Some seem to allow or at least tolerate that those gaps may (or even should) be filled with revenge.  I just cannot go there.

The clip below from Les Miserable is one of my favorite.  The act of kindness and forgiveness from the bishop allowed Jean Valjean a level of self-reflection that inspired actual change and removed a criminal from the lives of others in a way temporary imprisonment never could.  It is also an example of the benefits of grace over revenge.

Count of Monte Cristo

Well, I am finally reading it.



This was among the very first downloads I ever made on my Kindle.  My original Kindle had it first when I received it as the best gift ever about five years ago.  The Count of Monte Cristo awaited my attention during the entire life-span of that device until its demise on the same day Osama Bin Laden found his end in May of 2011 (you can read about that here http://25booksayear.blogspot.com/2011/05/sunday-bloody-sunday.html).



The book was then resurrected on my new Kindle and awaited its time patiently, forgotten and burdened by solitude.  Only now, as I embark on many new journeys of my own, does it finally illuminate itself to me in e-ink.  And, much like Edmond Dantes, it strikes out at me with great vengeance and furious anger.  (like this...)







I love this book already.  I am so disappointed to miss our first book club meeting about this great work, and so I offer my thoughts for consideration here.  I will happily miss to attend to Jacob's seventh birthday celebration (Happy Birthday, Cub!), but I would love to talk about the book.

Marching Morons

I read Marching Morons by C.M. Kornbluth (a novella) early this year and thought it was pretty good.  It must have been an inspiration for the movie Idiocracy, which was pretty funny, but in that "oh, God, that's just too close to real" way.

Basic premise is that the smart folks become outnumbered and have to prop up and allow the world to function from the shadows while fewer and fewer maintain a level of intellect to keep things functional.  There are times when the world can seem like that, and especially so if you follow politics.

I am trying to illustrate something along those line in my writing project because it has been often on my mind after reading The Marching Morons.  I suppose I cannot eliminate having seen how things function "under the hood" (so to speak) as a possible cause for my recent contemplation.

It seems that many flash-point topics turn people into raving lunatics.  Gun control is the current manic-causing drug of choice among the populace.  It is a rotation.  Abortion, marriage, religion and all the other flash-point topics will come up again when it is their turn.  It all just keeps happening.

Battlestar Gallactica hammered the point home again and again: This has all happened before and it will all happen again.  Which begs the question... Are we getting dumber or have we always been pretty stupid and it just always looks like its getting worse?  I'm not sure one is better than the other.

So, has this all just happened before?  (Lame excuse for a cool BSG trailer)

Infinite Jest

Out of the blue, I started Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace.  This might be an insane decision on my part considering that I just finished The Pale King, but I am at a place right now that makes this book particularly appealing.  It just feels necessary that I read this particular book right now.

Why?  Now that is a good question.

Well, I've hit a point where dealing with certain serious matters has taken a jest-filled turn.  I have endeavored to swim up stream of late by taking a jester's view of a stuffy world.  From political debates, negotiations, and the everyday logical flaws that speckle this world like stars in the sky, everything just looks clown-shoes ridiculous to me.

Infinite Jest addresses our entertainment-based society in a silly way.  I recognize that I will enjoy such a topic now more than most any other time.  I started it last night and am hooked.  I would never have thought it possible for me to read two entire DFW books in a row, especially two as long as these two, without losing my entire mind.  It may happen yet (losing my mind, that is).

I may be a glutton for punishment, and it may take me a really long time and several breaks to finish this book, but it is apparently a masterpiece and I want in on that at the moment.

Happy reading all.

Prelude No More

Well... it has been more than five years and I am finally ready to drop the Prelude and get on with the book.

I have really enjoyed working on this blog, and I will keep it going the best I can.  I do not have many page views, but that was never my goal.  I enjoy thinking out loud and working through topics in writing.  I have even found myself forwarding older posts when a topic of conversation veers toward something I have written about.

I am pretty sure forwarding links to my thoughts has come across as rather vain.  But, it has been a pleasure to write my thoughts on this forum.  I am constructing my book from a story I wrote in 2010 and I have started a new blog page to flush it out.  If you receive an e-mail invitation, you will get to see it.  It is nowhere near done and will not likely be done anytime soon.  However, it will become my writing focus for the foreseeable future.

For me, this is a bucket-list item.  Probably my top bucket-list item at that.  I want to write a book.  I do not care if I publish it or not, but I must finish it.  It has become important to me.

At some point, I may publish my short story (the one that I base the book upon) on this site.  I will try to occasionally post updates here, but my focus will be on Schaden Street (which will make sense if you read the finished product).

I just think it is time to get this going.  I titled this site preludetoabook because I always knew the ultimate goal.  I am finally ready to tackle that goal and have started.  I have my chapters mapped and have started filling in the large gaps left by my story.  I am ready to do this, and I will.  I will read less and write more.  This will hurt my production level on this blog, but I am fine with that.

This is what I want to do, so I am going to do it.