Music in my life

July 11, 2001. I was at Folsom Field with my father, sister, brother and sister-in-law for the best concert I will ever attend. Too soon to say? Not on your life. I may be the only one who would say that out of our group, but it's my story and my experience was otherworldly.

The song embedded above provided the most vivid moment for me. I know it's a long song, but it simmers until the 3:55 mark and does not calm down until the 7:15 mark. The song is deep and, as of this performance, yet-to-be-released. It also prominently features Leroi Moore on the saxophone. Moore died last summer after an ATV accident last summer.

I have been to four Dave Matthews Band concerts in my life (two of them released as DVDs), but only this one featured 3/4 of the rest of my family combined with a transcendent experience.

Music has played a big role in my life. That is mostly due to the fact that my father made sure music of all kinds echoed in the house as we grew up. His diversity of music taste is at least part of the reason my i-pod play list makes no sense except to me (it features everything from Mozart to Jay-Z and Rammstein... Paul Simon and the Beatles to Dr. Dre and The Killers).

Although the Dave Matthews Band is my runaway favorite band of all time, the right song from any era sends me back in time and starts the memories flowing. And, that often takes me back to Boulder, Colorado.

On July 11, 2001, rain greeted us at our seats. Although the rain was steady, it was tolerable and almost pleasant. The opening acts were good if not memorable (I only remember Wyclef Jean, but the others are hazy). The concert started at 8:00 and the rain stopped on a dime.

You can't make this stuff up.

I remember taking that as a sign not to let anything ruin the experience. I proceeded to have a blast until the final encore. My experience featured singing along, dancing and basically blocking out my surroundings. The concert went overtime by 15 minutes, but it could have lasted another hour and I'd have been fine.

I first heard of DMB from friends back in Virginia who told me about this great band playing in Charlottesville (where I used to live) at a local bar called Miller's. When "Under the Table and Dreaming" was released I about burned out my copy. The album flowed wonderfully and seemed to tell a story. DMB became a constant companion for me in college.

I can't really explain why they are my favorite. I guess, if pinned down, I'd say because of DMBs unique combination of instruments, their amazing improvisation as a live band and because, in a world full of formulaic canned pop music, DMB seemed deeper and more original. I have also consistently appreciated singers with unique-sounding voices, including Dylan, Paul Simon, Matthews, and even Elton John among many others.

After the concert ended, we stopped at a Denny's-type restaurant outside of Boulder for a snack. No one must have noticed the concert on the schedule when they made staffing arrangements because there were about two waitresses and one cook. We were not the first there, but by the time we were finished, the line for tables was out the door and the three workers were calling for reinforcements and in full-panic mode.

It was at the table when my dad stated that this concert had surpassed his experience seeing the Rolling Stones live in 1967 as the best concert he had ever attended. I remember being profoundly impressed by that statement and spent the rest of the night reflecting on my experience. I don't remember sleeping much that night.

And THAT is what makes a concert great. When a performance grabs you, the experience is special. There are countless examples, and I suppose the circumstances vary for each person. But, when you experience the "perfect storm" as I did in 2001, it's magical.

My dad provided an anecdote for the clip blow. Queen, live from "Live Aid" in 1985. He described watching Freddie Mercury take hold of the audience. I found the clip on Youtube and posted it below. No matter what you think of Queen, there is no denying that Mercury took command of the audience and absolutely touched them. He sent everyone home talking about the experience, and I have since discovered that his performance is widely considered one of the best of the 20th Century.



Jacob has taken a special fancy to some of the Muppet Show DVDs my mom owns. The series is a collection from the shows that aired when I was about his age. They feature guest stars such as Harry Belafonte, Linda Ronstadt, Paul Simon, Elton John, John Denver and others. His insistence on watching those DVDs whenever he earns a movie has brought back so many memories for me.

I remember those artists and others playing throughout my childhood, adolescence and early-adulthood. Once upon a time, I was up on all the new music and always on the lookout for good groups or albums. Unfortunately, I've become more and more detached from the music scene. I don't buy cd's hardly ever anymore.

Although it still didn't lead to a CD purchase, I did buy and download the soundtrack from Slumdog Millionaire via I-tunes after seeing the movie tonight. The music made a wonderful movie into a special experience much like John Williams did for Star Wars. Music doesn't usually break a movie, but it can absolutely make a movie.

I am going to try to update my music collection and get back to my old practice of listening to music around the house. Although I resisted my father's attempts to make me memorize the composer by sound as a kid (something I regret now), I don't want Jacob to miss out on a soundtrack to his life.

In a related note, Jacob, Year 3, begins production this week.

Another Deal

We are facing an economic crisis. And that sentence seems to represent the totality of agreement on the issue by the populace.

No one agrees how to handle this mess. That doesn't stop anyone from having strong feelings about the stimulus, which is good for healthy debate.

<-- GUESS THE REPUBLICAN ANSWER (Hint: Rhymes with Fax Struts)

My purpose in sitting down to spew my thoughts is threefold. First, I want to address the ridiculous practice of re-arguing the New Deal debate, especially when its done to political ends. Second, I will explain my reason for supporting the stimulous bill even though not one person in this nation is completely happy about it (as if that isn't argument enough). Finally, I want to explain why I believe the zero-vote strategy adopted by the Republican party neither helps the country nor the future of that party.

No one wants more debt and no one wants to waste. Even the best of solutions sometimes taste bad going down, but we do what we must.

FAIR DEAL

I recently read that the conservative talking points during the stimulus debate included an argument that the New Deal made the depression worse. The "proof" provided is sketchy at best. The truth is that this argument leads to a dead-end.

Once the New Deal is brought up in any context, the respective sides will take their usual places and dig in. I will never be convinced that it did not help the nation out of the depression because my great-grandparents credited the public works projects that employed my great-grandfather with saving their lives in the wake of depression.

The truth is that the New Deal represents a fault line for the most basic of political disagreements: The role of the federal government.

Just like I cannot be moved on this topic, neither will many conservatives budge from the assertion that only tax cuts and the private sector ever produce results on anything from slicing bread to ending a recession.

Ironically, they point to the war as the true savior while conveniently leaving out one important fact. WWII created jobs because of the massive government spending necessary to arm the nation to the teeth in a very short time. That's right, those private sector jobs would never have developed if the government wasn't in the market for massive amounts of products to be produced ASAP. Who else but the government would ever make such huge purchases?

Remember that fact when new RNC chair Michael Steele says that the federal government has never created a single job in the nation's history. Such a statement defines foolishness. It also shows that he is driven by only ideology and not by reason. And he's the leader of the Republican party.

Believe it or not, my purpose is not to sing the praises of the New Deal. It was not perfect. It probably did take too many steps toward government activism and earned some of the animosity of the right. My point is that we don't live in the 1930s or 1940s anymore, so the debate doesn't serve any purpose beyond creating arguments that lead to the same old stalemate.

We must use reason and thought to come up with a new strategy for this moment in time. And, all ideas must be considered without resort to blind ideology. That goes for both sides.

STIMULATING

Perhaps the best argument I can make for the stimulus bill that passed is that no one is happy with it. It makes the very liberal unhappy because many spending projects were shelved to make room for more tax cuts. It makes conservatives upset because there aren't enough tax cuts. What better evidence could there be that this bill (thanks to the only three Republicans willing to participate out of 219) involved compromise.

As usual, I look to Benjamin Franklin for perspective on this. Franklin put into eloquent words what I have experienced in my practice when discussing compromise. Franklin's final thoughts on the Constitution were as follows:

Thus I consent, Sir, to this Constitution because I expect no better, and because I am not sure, that it is not the best. The opinions I have had of its errors, I sacrifice to the public good.

I have reservations, as does everyone, about this stimulus package. But, I sacrifice them for the public good. We all admit something needs to be done. This package will absolutely create jobs. There is no doubt about that. Construction projects must be "shovel-ready" to receive funding and that means jobs now. Those people who are employed by the projects will in turn spend money, which will help surrounding businesses. The money will bounce around our communities, which is just what the doctor ordered. Is it being done perfectly? I doubt 100 years of debate would accomplish that.

Although the opposition to this bill has been fierce, that opposition has offered nothing reasonable as an alternative. To point only to tax cuts as an answer when that has been the only action taken over the last eight years represents slavery to ideology. Such positions do not involve reason. In fact, the opposition has often even refused to meaningfully participate in the discussion at all, which brings me to...

ZERO EFFECT

There are 219 Republicans in the two houses of Congress. Exactly three of them voted for the stimulus bill. And, many conservative groups have announced that those Senators will face primary challenges when they next face re-election.

But, any true conservative should send those Senators a thank you note along with me. Without those three Senators -- Arlen Specter, Olympia Snow and Susan Collins -- conservative ideals would be even less represented in the bill. Indeed, I wonder how many more of those ideals might have made their way into the bill if a handful of other other Republican officeholders would have decided to be part of the solution as opposed to political foot-dragging.

I understand that only 12 Democrats voted against the stimulus, and I do not pretend that only the Republicans are sticking to their guns. The difference in my eyes is in the effort. Only Republican leadership has threatened to "take my ball and go home." And, no workable (read: non-abolition of taxes) solution has been offered as an alternative.

By offering primary challenges to the few Republican party members left who have political courage and who are not slaves to the "only tax cuts will do" ideology, the party has cemented its status as a regional second-rate party. Until that party's moderates start making decisions again, there will be no meaningful opposition party. And, that's a shame.

Although I am not a conservative, I belive that our country works better when both parties are thinking straight. Afterall, no party (even my own) accomplishes great things without constructive opposition.

Here's hoping for success.

In the meantime, Jacob's generation is left to ask...





Wait!? We're borrowing HOW MUCH again?
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Update and Photos

Jacob has Croup right now, so our weekend has been spent just trying to make our little guy feel comfortable.

It has been relaxing to be home all weekend, but it's been tough watching Jacob struggle with coughing fits. I decided to post a few pictures that I have had saved on the camera for a while.

I have a lot of thoughts for coming posts and will get to those as soon as Jacob is over the hump on his illness, which we hope will be soon. In the meantime, enjoy a few pictures from happier days for our little guy.

At Ian's Birthday party

Waiting for cake.

Lessons from Lincoln

I finished my first book of 2009 last week. Team of Rivals, the Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin was a phenomenal book and it planted Abraham Lincoln firmly into my tight circle of political heroes (including Benjamin Franklin and Martin Luther King, Jr.).

Although the book detailed some of Lincoln's biographical information, the focus was on his political skill. I found reinforcement for many life lessons in the book. The tasks of managing relationships and juggling varying interests impact all aspects of our lives (in professional, social or any other station of life). How we handle those challenges can impact our lives deeply and impact effectiveness and even happiness.

As a brief summary, Lincoln appointed his political rivals to his closest quarters. He did so to take advantage of the best talent available in the newly-formed Republican party (which looks nothing like the party of today) and to keep himself honest and accountable by turning cabinet meetings into runs through a political gauntlet. Lincoln managed to apply the best talent in the nation to a common task, refine his own thinking through the filter of a blunt cabinet and exerted his own dominion thereover all at the same time. In a word, it was a remarkable feat at a perilous time in our history. And he pulled it off beautifully.

This book has been present in every grocery store in the nation for the simple reason that our new president has cited its teachings as an inspiration for his cabinet. I cannot help but be impressed by the undertaking, and I wish our president the best of luck in handling such strong personalities and conflicting interests with the unique grace of our 16th president. What Lincoln did could not be duplicated by just anyone.

I found a number of basic lessons from the book that anyone can use in life. They are all self-evident lessons, and none of them are new, but they are each presented under the unique and withering pressure of the Civil War. Those simple lessons, applied by a president, saved the union. That example was powerful to say the least. Those same values and techniques, I think, can apply to anyone in daily life.

First, anyone should be willing to listen to the arguments of those who disagree. I read recently that, as our politics have polarized, many people have entrenched themselves into one or the other ideological camp. Many listen to and speak to only those with whom they agree. The resulting "us" vs. "them" mentality deepens the problem.

This book reinforced my belief that we should never be afraid to consider that any of us could be mistaken on any given topic. We can also find a greater truth to a belief once that belief survives strong contemplation.

Second, never judge a book by its cover. Lincoln's political rivals all underestimated Lincoln, some severely so. He was referred to as an "ape," and a "country lawyer." It turns out that the awkward Illinois lawyer who struggled to find fitting clothing, taught himself to read and practice law and moved as if always stumbling was a run-away intellectual superior even to those in his cabinet. It is fair to say we have all been guilty of flash judgements, and everyone has experienced the surprise of being wrong.

Finally, this book reinforced the time-honored Golden Rule. By treating even adversaries with respect, humility and compassion, rivals can become willing allies. It also does not hurt to have a sense of humor, especially about one's self. Nothing disarms quite like self-deprecation, humility and a good laugh.

Although Lincoln made the political tactic of providing enough rope for one to hang himself into a beautiful art, he remained gracious. Although capable of twisting opponents into political knots, Lincoln wielded his abilities gracefully and without malice or vengeance.

We all face challenges in life, at work and in the home. But, I try to remember that if such basic core values as those practiced by our nation's greatest president can save the Union, they can get anyone through the trials in life or at least grant us some comfort in dealing with daily struggles.

Every other book I read this year will be chasing Team of Rivals for the title of best book I read in 2009.

President Obama

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A Fork in the Road

Jen and I discussed the importance of preserving family history recently. She liked the short book my grandmother finished before her recent death and decided to write down her memories. Obviously, that same motivation led me to create this blog. I hope it can one day be turned into a book to help my family know our little chapter.

I started to think about how individuals are seen differently from various perspectives. Stories I have heard from my father's colleagues have painted a unique picture that I could never have experienced. The best stories of all, however, are heard from the first-person perspective. Take, for instance, my father's letter the the editor of CHEST magazine regarding the very serious illness he suffered when we moved to Loveland from Virginia. You can read that here:

http://www.chestjournal.org/content/106/1/328.2.full.pdf?ck=nck

With that in mind, I thought of some stories I could tell that may interest Jacob when he's older. The contemplation led me to revisit an interesting and fun time in my life that, I now know, was a fork in the road, but not at all what I expected. I thought at the time that I was on a fast track, but, in reality, life took a more subtle change that I now only recognize in retrospect.

I long considered 1998 the best year of my life. It is now second to 2006, but I will always fondly remember 1998. It started with a bang because I got engaged on Valentines Day of '98. I chose well and Jen is still as precious to me as she was when we were still in school.

My school year began with concern about how I would come up with money for my fifth and final year of college. My parents helped me with one-half of my tuition/room and board for four years, but my decision to pursue two degrees, and the resulting fifth year in school, left me with that cost to bear alone. I worked at the Campus Press and delivered newspapers on campus to keep my gas tank full, but it didn't do much else. I vaguely remember my editor's pay to be about $187.00 every two weeks or so. It actually seemed like plenty at the time, but it wasn't going to cover the year and my summer work money was never a whole lot (and was usually gone paying my share of tuition and housing anyway).

Then, the floodgates of opportunity opened. I went from debating the wisdom of a chosen fifth year in school to weighing two great opportunities. First, I received a scholarship and internship from the Colorado Press Association that provided most of my tuition and a job at $6.25 per hour. Then, I received a paid internship through Time Inc. at Sports Illustrated for Kids. All of a sudden I had a decision to make. What a change of fortunes, huh?

I worked out an agreement that allowed me to have the scholarship, take the New York gig over the summer and perform my internship as a night reporter during the school year. Everything was just perfect! I even found enough smaller grants and scholarships available to finish off most of the rest of my expenses. I guess not going to parties and hunkering down paid off afterall.

Even my sports fortunes were amazing. The year began with Denver's first Super Bowl title in January of '98, which I celebrated with gusto after suffering with the team since memories began. To top it off, Denver began the '98 season 13-0 on their way to the best single season in team history and another title. I attended most of the games that year and enjoyed Terrell Davis' brilliance on his way to 2,000+ yards. I managed to gain access to the Denver Bronco locker room in Dove Valley as the team prepared to play the Steelers in the AFC championship game.

I was in New York for the entire summer of that year and had a blast in Manhattan. I ended up working for NBA INSIDE STUFF magazine (the official teen magazine of the NBA). My housing was paid for (thank God because it's beyond expensive) and I received enough money from the job to keep me entertained. I saw two Broadway plays (Les Miserable and Miss Saigon), visited the world trade center, climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty for a look from inside the crown, and just basically saw the sights. It was my best summer ever, hands down.

I still remember hitting softballs with all my buddies in the rain at a park the night before I left and having a blast. My longtime friend Wally traveled up from Virgina to spend a long weekend with me. My year was on an absolute roll.

I made a point of walking an hour to work most days just so I could see the vibrant life of NYC and save $1.50 per subway trip. Even though I was there for sports journalism, however, I now know I went there with another purpose.

Shortly before my trip, a favorite professor of mine (Edward Rozek) discussed the importance of goals in life and said that I should write a goal on a piece of paper, laminate it and attach it to a key chain to keep the goal ever in mind. My goal had always been to write for Sports Illustrated. I remember making plans to make the key chain.

Funny thing happened. I could not bring myself to put that goal on my key chain. I even remember telling myself while in my car, "I can't put that as my goal for the whole world to see."

I then saw the movie 13 Days with some friends and (Costner's performance aside) remembered why I had decided on that fifth year of college. I am most driven to the study of the bettering of society. I had added political science as a means to an end I could not then contemplate or explain. Journalism was not an intellectual challenge as much as the honing of a craft. Although a noble craft, that just wasn't all that I wanted. I most desired to study the systematic change of our world and hoped to somehow contribute to a greater good in a more direct sense rather than as an observer.

(Interestingly enough, it was my father who pushed me away from medicine [my first choice coming out of high school] and encouraged me to have a "fun" job. I now know that working in the toy department for me [I am a big fan of sports] was not going to satisfy my need for something else. Nevertheless, I worked in journalism for three years before I felt the tug toward that "something else" and dragged Jen through law school.)

So, I had packed some books and resolved to read them while trying to ignore the sirens of NYC. I read "A Bright and Shining Lie," "Profiles in Courage," and a few others. On weeknights after work, I read the books and got lost in their depth. It was a feast.

While in New York, I was forwarded an e-mail that asked a number of questions, like "mustard or mayo?." Two memorable and related questions asked (With my very confident answers in parenthesis) as follows:

1. Where are you now? (New York, NY)
2. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (New York, NY)

I answered certain I'd be in the same Time, Inc. building. Well, it's been now more than 10 years. I am not in New York, nor do I want to be. My chosen profession gives me the chance to feel a part of things and spend time with family and friends. I could never have known it at the time, but 1998 was the first time I routed my path away from the point I thought certain to be my final goal.

But, as I said before, that goal never made it to my key chain.

Thoughts on the book challenge

I've just finished my final book of the year to hit the goal Book and I set.

I enjoyed the book challenge this year and look forward to doing it again in 2009. We have slightly altered some of the rules, but, by and large, it will remain the same. This year we will assign each other a few books to read. We still have to have at least one epic book on the year. Mine will be Team of Rivals for 2009 and I'm getting a minor start on it now.

I am going to be a little better about choosing books this time around, though. I ended up reading some books I wish I could have back. "I May Not Get There With You" was written like an academic paper and focused on comparisons between MLK and Tupac. Half-way through it I wished I could just have a do-over. I also really did not enjoy "Catch-22," even though it is apparently widely regarded as a great book. Just not my style.

"Turning of the Tide" was great for 150 pages and then turned absolutely unbearable. The last 100 or 150 pages seemed like various random sports updates stapled to the back of the books with conclusions stating how it just shows that black players played in those various games. Entire chapters were just transcripts of interviews with people who really had nothing to add to the story. It's a shame because if that book ended on about page 150, it would have been one of my favorites of the year.

This year I am going to try to avoid many of the political books. I think the more I read about the Bush administration, the more generally angry I became and I kinda burned out my outrage switch. This year, any political books will be carefully chosen. Of course, I'm already compiling my list and a few are on there, but I'll at least try to mitigate them. Obama 2012!!!

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2008

I really enjoyed "The World Without Us." I didn't expect it to be as interesting as it was. "'77," which was about the 1977 Broncos, was a really fun read. I also got intesely into "Bringing Down the House," which was about some MIT students who could count cards and took Vegas for millions.

I'm generally not a fiction reader, but I liked "Angels and Demons." Still, the book "jumped the shark" at the end, which disappointed me. That is usually why I don't read a lot of fiction. Still, the book was entertaining.

By far the best book was "Bearing the Cross" because I think I will take the lessons of the civil rights movement into the rest of life with me. Unbelievably great book. It was worth the time it took to read. I'm still amazed at the spying done on MLK and how much infighting made the struggle one that went up hill.

Barack Obama's two books were extremely good, although "Faith of My Fathers" was far superior and was in the discussion for favorite book of the year.

I enjoyed "the Great Derangement" very much. It was quite sarcastic and snarky, but also hilarious. The guy infiltrated the Hagee church (before his controvercial endorsement of McCain) and the 9/11 Truthers to show just how nuts many people can be and how impressionable as well.

"The Nine" was very interesting about the Supreme Court and how it functions behind the scenes. It confirmed my suspicion that the politics of a justice absolutely impact decisions about the hot-button issues of the times.

Finally, nothing made me laugh like "I am America and so Can You!" I read that one twice.

2009 LIST

Some of the books on my list for 2009:

Soldat
Team of Rivals
Southern Storm
Born Standing Up (Steve Martin)
Me of Little Faith (Lewis Black)
Stranger in a Strange Land
How to Rig an Election
The Express (About Ernie Davis)
Da Vinci Code
Seabiscuit
American Lion (Andrew Jackson)
Stories of blood and sweatsocks (Mankind)

As always, the list can change and I'm always open to suggestions. I am still awaiting my assignments from Book, so who knows where it will go. I'm just glad to be doing it again.