TOP 20 Books I've ever read

After reading Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole, book club we all compile our Top-10 book lists so we can discover such hidden gems again. It's weird to call Dunces a hidden gem considering it won a Pulitzer Prize, but it seems to be a cult classic.

So, I started compiling my top 10. I was surprised how quickly it came together, but it didn't take long to start feeling bad about leaving out certain titles and authors. For example, I'm ashamed to say that my initial top 10 did not include anything by Dostoevsky. I am staying true to that initial list for the most part because I am currently reading a book that suggests over-thought decisions often lead to disappointment. But, Dostoevsky had to be in there and now he is.

Books carry certain emotional responses that guide any rating. My list is no different. In fact, I am not sure I would have some of these books listed had I read them at any other time in my life than the time I read them. Revisiting the feelings inspired by these books has been a real joy.

I decided to compile my top 20 to accommodate those great books and because I feel like it.

So, without further ado, my top 20 books of all time.

20. (tie) Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell and Moonwalking with Einstein, by Josh Foer. So sue me, I'm adding a book. I couldn't leave either off, so they can both carry the "behavior science" flag that would be wildly missed among any list of my favorite books. Outliers changed how I look at and handle people and Einstein showed me how to use memory palaces.

19. Downtown Owl, by Chuck Klosterman. I read this book after I had finished a draft of my short story and decided this was the kind of book I wanted to write. This book is awesome. It's very "slice-of-life." It has some great phrasing... such as: "He told Cindy Brewer that her voice reminded him of 'a cuntier version of Joan Rivers;' or "He probably enjoyed remembering their conversations more than he ever enjoyed having them;" or "He once punched an alter boy in the chest for ringing a bell incorrectly (which, to be fair, did improve the overall quality of pre-Mass bell ringing by an unbelievable degree."

This book is about a small town and the basic "goings-on" about town. The writing is witty and fun. It is enjoyable and intelligent. I enjoyed it very much.

18. The Book of Basketball, by Bill Simmons. That's right, a basketball book. I laughed so hard reading this book. I love the NBA and basketball. I also love comedy and this book is one of the funniest I've ever read. I stayed up late waiting for the kindle release with my kindle logged on so I could start reading as soon as possible. I've read it twice in a year's time and may read the paperback yet this year. Dave included a book by a wrestler, and I'll include Simmons.

17. Profiles in Courage, by John Fitzgerald Kennedy. I took this book with me to New York when I had a summer internship at Time, Inc. Instead of going out in Manhattan, I read this book and was inspired to aim a little higher. A very inspiring book with great examples of political courage.

16. Guns, Germs & Steele, by J. Diamond. Diamond asks one of the boldest and most uncomfortable questions about human history: Why did certain societies and people progress faster than others? He answers that question definitively. Although his book was very, very detailed and thick with information, I think his conclusion is simple. The mass of information proves his simple conclusion conclusively in my mind. The difference? Chance. Geography. I am convinced that any group of people, if they began civilization at the Fertile Crescent, would have been the ones to thrive rather than suffer. This book was not always easy to read (and sometimes downright difficult), but it earned the Pulitzer it won.

15. Bearing the Cross, by David Garrow. The definitive history of the Civil Rights movement and Martin Luther King, Jr. (one of my heroes). A view inside the dirty work of moving a people past prejudice (at least in the legal sense). The burdens of being the face of the civil rights movement were beyond comprehension. King is shown with all his brilliance and his flaws equally. An inside look at the cross he carried will leave you breathless.

14. Brothers Karamozov, by Fyodore Dostoevky. The greatest diversity of deeply plumbed characters I am aware of in literature. The characters serve purposely diverse and yet interdependent personalities and paradigms. The concepts tackled in this book are deep and thorough. The Grand Inquisitor is a masterpiece of its own and it is just a part of one chapter. This book is listed as the greatest novel ever written by more than a few sources.

13. Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole. Ignatius J. Reilly is one of my favorite characters ever created in literature. This book is funny and a complete joy to read. I just finished it and it made a very strong initial impression that carried through the duration of the book.

12. 1984, by George Orwell. I did not read this book in high school like so many others. I read it many years later, but I enjoyed it deeply. This book introduced words and concepts to our culture and our dictionary (groupthink... Big Brother... etc.). This book impacted our culture and it will make you think long and hard.

11. Memoirs of the Second World War, by Winston Churchill. A first-hand account of WWII by one of its heroes. You will hear Churchill's voice on every page. I love that he makes no bones about this being his attempt to win the narrative of the war. I also love the amazing information and his unique and brilliant (although un-apologetically self-serving) commentary.

10. Crime and Punishment, by Fyodore Dostoevsky. The only author who can stand in the same zip code with Dostoevsky on character depth is Leo Tolstoy. It's those two alone and then everyone else looking up at them. Raskolnikov is an all-time great character and Dostoevsky's creation of his inner dialogue is brilliant. The reader is inserted into Raskolnikov's mind and witnesses his guilt, survival instincts and torment. It is a book about the mind of a man trying to cover up his crime. This is Dostoevsky at his best (and I say this even though Brothers Karamozov is widely considered his masterpiece).

9. A Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger. I do not remember much of the plot. I remember Holden Caulfield and that I related to this book because I had moved during my 10th grade year. The famous quote from this book spoke to me at that time: "Don't ever tell anyone anything. If you do, you start missing everyone." That quote fit for me when I read it.

8. War & Peace, by Leo Tolstoy. I am almost done with this one, but I need to put it here with flexibility to move (but not too much) either direction. Already, this book has proven to be profound in a way I can appreciate only as an adult. This book is the wisest novel I have ever read about people. To paraphrase one of our "gifted and talented" book club members, "if you can't relate to a character in a deep way, you aren't paying attention." It is true, as shown by the many posts made on this blog about this amazing tome.

7. The Old Man and the Sea, by Earnest Hemingway. I have read this book probably 4 or 5 times. It is brilliantly written, and the story is so wonderful and pure. This book was one of the first I was able to appreciate on a deep level. I read it in 8th grade. The story is so simple, and the fisherman in this book is a monumental character in literature. I read this book in German (Der Alte Mann und Das Meer) and somehow felt like I was reading it anew. And yet, nothing was different.

6. A World Apart, by Gustaw Herling. Among all the sadness and horror of this book, the part that I will never forget involves the most painful and yet joyous defecation ever described. He describes the joy of freedom from a Gulag while emptying his body of a turd that had been so thoroughly mined for nutrients by his starving body that it was essentially a rock. I have at times read just that chapter because of the amazing power of that scene. The tears of pain and joy are powerfully described.

5. The First American, the Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin, by H.W. Brands. I love Benjamin Franklin. The amount of information in this book was amazing and it was a page-turner even though it is very long.

The introduction will pull you in for good. From the Prologue, I can still see the image placed in my brain by the author of Franklin walking into Parliament as a loyal British citizen, suffering a humiliation that clarified the true divide in his mind between Britain and the Colonies, and then leave as the first American citizen. The writing was gripping. a few tastes...

Revolutions are not made in a morning, nor enemies lost in a day. But Britain did itself more damage in those two hours than anyone present imagined. By alienating Franklin, the British government showed itself doubly inept: for making an enemy of a friend, and for doing so of the ablest and most respected American alive. At a moment when independence was hardly dreamed of in America, Franklin understood that to independence America must come.

He sailed for home - his real home- still burning with anger and disgust, and immediately took a place at the head of the opposition to British rule. Once the most loyal of Britons, now he became the most radical of Americans, demanding independence and driving the rebellion to a genuine revolution.

The lesson? DO NOT MESS WITH BENJAMIN FRANKLIN! This small passage does not do justice to the prologue. The reader feels as if he or she is standing in public humiliation contemplating the truth of a revolution begun and plotting a path to shove that revolution down the throats of Parliamentarians attempting to humiliate the smartest person on the planet at that time. If you ask me, a more brilliant person has never walked this earth than Benjamin Franklin. This book will at least make you consider him for the title.

Brands makes his bold assertion in the prologue: "Of those patriots who made independence possible, none mattered more than Franklin, and only Washington mattered as much."

Brands makes that case brilliantly.

4. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley. This book inspired me to a different life outlook. This book is 1984 applied to the social rather than political realm. The idea of "Soma" made me cancel cable television. This book inspired me to use the time saved to read more books and learn a language. Although I found the end of the book much less satisfying than the beginning, it will always be a favorite for the paradigm shifts it inspired. This book also made me thankful I grew up in a society where a late-bloomer could still succeed. I am grateful never to have been identified early as an "epsilon" only to have so many doors closed so soon. On pure impact in my life, this book is nearly unmatched.

3. Simple Justice, by Richard Kluger. The complete history of the Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas desegregation case. Segregation is an issue that seems so clear to us today. But it was anything but easy to overturn. This book will take you to the front lines of social change and progress. You will never read the names Charles Houston and Thurgood Marshall again without wanting to stand and applaud.

The legal strategy was anything but simple and involved years of small wins to build their own precedent. Those cases were then brought to bear upon the next small victory until all those little victories (allow interracial marriage before school integration, for example) were finally hurled together at the United States Supreme Court. Even then, the outcome was not certain until the chief judge (not sympathetic to the cause) actually died before a decision could be rendered. The re-hearing involved newly-minted Chief Justice Earl Warren, who then navigated a volatile issue and produced a 9-0 decision.

Meanwhile, the Civil Rights movement was fractured on how best to proceed and the different organizations fought over how to proceed and whether the other interfered with progress being made. I read this book while in school and could not put it down. This book will show you how hard progress can be even on such seemingly-clear issues, but it also shows that progress remains possible for those willing to take heroic action!

2. Team of Rivals, by Doris Kearns Goodwin. This book also instilled life lessons. If you want to know how Abraham Lincoln held this country together, read this book. I have never been more impressed with how a person handled crisis. Although the book focuses on the team Lincoln put together, it best illustrates Lincoln's brilliance, patience, and almost perfect demeanor for any task.

After reading this book, I imagine Lincoln on a different plane. His mix of compassion, toughness, political savvy and unimpeachable judgment was unique in history and perfect for the crisis he solved. Dave told me I would mourn Lincoln's death when that part came in the book and he was right. After following him through our most perilous time, his death will hit you like a freight train.

Although his burden's weighed heavily on him, Lincoln never wavered. This book made him human. Kearns-Goodwin makes his personal sadness and his difficult family life very clear. She paints a complete picture and his humanity make him so much more impressive.

Every political science class I ever took spoke of Lincoln's place as our nation's greatest president as if debate were long over. I took an American Presidency class and a ranking of presidents was only controversial if Lincoln were dropped to 2 or 3. He is listed as No. 1 on a vast majority of rankings (many of the lists have political leanings, but Lincoln remains at the top). I had studied the reasons given before, but, although the reasons were strong, it usually involved "well, he saved the Union, so what can you say?" Seemed overly simple an answer and it does not prove that was all his doing.

Team of Rivals ends that debate for me. This nation will never have another president as great as Abraham Lincoln and I am now dead certain of that.

1. Autobiography, by Benjamin Franklin. I have always been very skeptical of self-help books. I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey on the recommendation of a friend. Covey openly admitted that Benjamin Franklin's autobiography guided his ideas. So, I decided to go right to the source.

There is no better self-help book, and it is so effective because it does not seek to be a self-help book. This autobiography is really just a look into the life of a person who sought only improvement in his own person and engaged in continuous self-reflection to achieve that end. He advocates pillars of morality that should not bend and even explains his efforts to be perfect, ultimately to determine we can't be perfect, but the effort remains worthy.

Most illuminating is Franklin's attempts to become better at discussion. He studies himself as if he were his own lab rat and chronicle's his results like the scientist he was. He reminds himself to use phrases like "that is a good point, but have you considered... ?" for the purpose earning his adversaries fair consideration of a point.

Unlike many scientific minded among us, Franklin was equally brilliant in the social, political and scientific worlds. And you will see that he takes as much pleasure in the opening of the first library in Pennsylvania as any other accomplishment. It is a great slice of a unique life at a unique time in history.

And it is the best book I have ever read.

Adapt, Young Man

Jacob started Kindergarten last week. We went to the store together and bought him all the school supplies listed, and he was excited to start back to the learning part of school.

After a fun summer of field trips, splash days and lemonade stands at the school, its back to curriculum. I am glad he had fun, but its time to get to business. Future summers will include more sharpening the saw than this one, and it will be to his benefit.

All of these thoughts helped me focus words to my philosophy on parenting. If it were be boiled to its simplest description, we want to teach Jacob to be adaptable. For the longer description, you can keep reading.

There was a day when I picked Jacob up after Junior Kindergarten (I know, it's new to me too) and a teacher stopped Jacob from leaving until he cleaned up his mess. I was, of course, fine with this. He cleaned up his mess quickly and came back smiling to me for the short ride home.

The next day, that teacher apologized if I was upset by her insistence on making him clean. I was confused by that because I had made no complaint and had looked anything but angry about it. To the contrary, I told the teacher, I was very happy that she insisted it be done. I insisted that she continue to hold him to his duties.

I learned that other parents had not handled the situation so well and had made it an issue with management.

So, what might those children be learning? Well, I can thing of a few things. 1) That they can override a teacher's authority. 2) That the rules don't apply to them if they don't want them to. 3) That parents will swoop in to save them from any inconvenience. All three lessons for the child will begin the long atrophy process of the self-reliance muscle (if such a thing were to exist).

Now, lets take a quick look at what this example of "standing up for your child" can lead to. A child cried about it because he or she was fishing for a response (and likely expected one). A teacher was likely chewed out. A parent introduced stress into the home by (very likely) discussing the matter in a family setting. Corrective action was taken that led to apologies to ANY potential "victims" of the action and humiliation of the teacher, who did nothing wrong. And, a child learned how to skate by.

How much stress was this worth?

Meanwhile, our little guy dutifully cleaned up his mess and came running to me with a smile. Why didn't he cry? Because he knows we won't let him skirt his responsibility. I must say, I'm proud of him for being so adaptable. Of course, in this case, he was being merely responsible for his own mess. It's sad that even this basic thing got a teacher in trouble.

I have read many parenting articles, some books and have had many discussions about the topic. I have heard a wide range of approaches. I do not agree with all of them, but I do not condemn all of them, either. The ones I do reject for our own household, however, are those that utilize coddling and attempt to bend the world to the needs of a particular child.

Jen read one book that attempted to make the case that boys are being screwed over by a system that suppresses them and has become girl-centric. Her verdict was that it was all griping and no solving.

I, personally, don't care if the charges in the book were even true (although I doubt it). Jacob will learn to navigate the path at hand. He will learn do make the best of situations. We will, of course, try to set him on productive and helpful paths. But, we will not bend the axis of this planet to meet his preferences or comfort zones.

This topic reminded me of a long-ago conversation with my father. I had heard horrible rumors about my math teacher. He was mean. He was tough. He was too demanding and liked to embarrass those who were not prepared. My schedule included this particular teacher and I was not happy about it.

Dad's response? Well, after he heard my concerns, he calmly destroyed my argument. The conversation after my complaints were listed went loosely like this:

Dad: "You don't know that."

Me: "But this guy is terrible."

Dad: "Again, you don't know that. Do you believe everything you hear?"

Me: "No, but they can't all be wrong."

Dad: (laughing) "Yes, they can. Do you think everything said about you is true? Don't you think he deserves an honest chance? Don't be foolish. Judge for yourself. You may be surprised.

Dad: (with the finish) "Besides, you won't always like the people you have to deal with, so you better get used to dealing with it now."

The end result? Well, that teacher absolutely taught me that subject. He was tough, but fair. He knew his topic and he was energetic about it. He challenged me, but not unreasonably. Everyone kept bitching about it, but I learned it cold.

In short, they were wrong and the fact that attitudes remained the same only served to undermine their own learning. Thanks to dad's advice, I learned to adjust. To adapt. To make the best of a situation. And, it turned out, I would have avoided a great situation had my plan to bail worked.

Because adaptability requires practice, I was reminded about it in a big way in college when a professor who I respect, after hearing my concerns, told me without flinching to "grow a skin." Best advice I got in college.

Kids may learn in unique ways, and they should be encouraged in those directions. But, if you teach them to await the perfect environment, or avoid any uncomfortable or unfamiliar options or challenging situations, or (worse yet) to weasel their way out of anything but the optimal, then they will not thrive in society.

To make a sports analogy, sometimes you have to play hurt. And you can't make the game stop if you have a hangnail. You might spend your whole life waiting to be pain-free enough to compete. Besides, many folks don't let go of such a good excuse once its been identified.

Did I talk to Dad about my math teacher in hopes he would help me get my schedule changed? Absolutely. But, dad was not interested in saving me from every possible discomfort.

Instead, he was afraid I may learn to run away from hard realities. The world isn't perfect, and Dad didn't want me prepared for such a mythical place rather than the one outside our front door.

Random thoughts

... If you are ever looking for a reason to disbelieve everything political, pay close attention to the rhetoric regarding the deficit debate. Apocalyptic language everywhere. I literally don't believe a single word from either side. Somewhere the sides will meet in compromise, and I'm content right now to wait for that to happen. I do not doubt terrible consequences for allowing default, but I think the game of chicken is both disingenuous and sad. The President seems to be the only one willing to cut through the BS, and he's getting hammered for "lecturing." Well, (and I know this makes me an unabashed homer), someone has to lecture those jokers.

... I have grown so unbelievably tired of all forms of Internet reporting. There is almost no cost to reporting events wrong when the speed of information is both fast and real-time. For example, Twitter exploded with dozens of tweets from "reporters" to my modest account about how labor peace in the NFL had been reached. Not but MINUTES later you have the "hold on... we don't have a deal yet" corrections by those same "journalists." So, where are the consequences of being wrong? It's like real-time gossip. I'm not sure how this can be fixed without disabling the Internet, and that obviously isn't going to happen. Buncha crap is what it is.

... The War & Peace book club will be meeting and my inability to properly schedule my own calendar means I won't be there. A major drag and I can't blame anyone but me. Talk about a bummer, and yes, I know this makes me a big-time nerd.

... I'm re-watching Battlestar Galactica, but in HD. So, really, I'm just watching it for the first time. And it's awesome. It was No. 1 all time for me until the Wire took it over, but I'm giving it a closing argument. There may end up being a tie at the top. I mean, the Wire isn't available in Blu Ray and I'm officially a Blu-Ray snob.

... Back to working on my story, but with a bigger scope. I'm debating whether to release it in parts on here so people can trash it and I can finally give up the foolhardy thing. Either that or I'll turn it into the book I have been imagining lately and will waste a phenomenal amount of time and energy.

... Created my memory palace for the first 1/3 of the Probate Code and then got into trying to meet my War & Peace deadline, so I kinda put it aside. I need to get back to it. That being said, that first third is becoming well placed and remembered.

... I'm becoming perpetually tired and crotchety.

Good night.

Chess and Father's Day

JACOB'S CHECKMATE





My dad taught me to play chess when I was 5. I am teaching Jacob now that he is 5. In fact, I just got him his very own chess board and he is very excited about it.

My dad taught me the basics and a few simple traps. I apparently angered my grandfather on my mother's side when I beat him after he stumbled into one of my memorized taps. My dad described the look on my face as I sprung the trap and won. By all accounts, grandpa didn't take it well.

Well, I got a taste of the other side a few weeks ago. When I play Jacob, I talk him through it and ask "are you sure about that move?" when he is about to make a mistake. I do not allow myself to castle, but I encourage him to castle early. I leave myself vulnerable, but I do not expect him to see the possibilities.

Well, he unloaded some applied knowledge on me and checkmated me in a move I literally didn't see until he made it. G5 to C1 if you are scoring at home. My king was vulnerable and he went for the kill.

We love playing together and I can't wait to see him develop. Every time chess comes back into my life, I wish I hadn't let it slip from my routine. I want to play regularly again and I'm going to find a way. All the while, Jacob and I will be playing together.

On Chess and Bobby Fischer

From this:


To this:



I just finished Endgame: Bobby Fischer's Remarkable Rise and Fall - From America's brightest prodigy to the edge of madness, by Frank Brady. It involves two of my favorite topics: Chess and unstable people.

Bobby Fischer's singular brilliance on a chess board was fascinating. And the ungodly amount of time he put into mastering that game left enormous holes in his social development. The result was a brilliant but moody and unstable chess prodigy who reached the peak of world chess domination and then disappeared into seclusion only to emerge decades later spouting conspiracy theories and anti-Semitic venom.

It's just odd.

The first thing I took from the book was complete appreciation for what Fischer accomplished in Chess. Fischer's contribution altered how the game was played and created a new generation of chess players worldwide.

A few highlights: He was the youngest grandmaster in the history of Chess (13); he won a completely unheard-of 20-straight games on his way to qualifying for the World Title match with Spassky; he won two consecutive US Championships without losing or drawing a single game (11 victories each year); and he so thoroughly scared the Soviet chess machine that seven of the nation's top Grand Masters were assigned to find weaknesses in his game (Including "master of endgame," "master of openings," etc.).

There was also this: He expected to be treated like a king at all times and required all demands (no matter how ridiculous or inconvenient) be met 100%. Moody and fragile does not begin to describe his obstinacy. I came away believing that moodiness was not an intentional strategy of psychological warfare as much as an accurate reflection of his personality.

He won the title, made such ridiculous demands for his first scheduled-defense of that title against Karpov in 1975 that he resigned the title without a game (leaving millions of dollars on the table) and disappeared for about 20 years. He became a vagrant, literally went into hiding and "wandered" Los Angeles with a new beard to hide his identity.

He surfaced only to play a game against Spassky in 1992 in violation of international sanctions in Yugoslavia as it was being torn asunder by war (he posed with Milosevich). That led to him hiding in various placed all over the globe and surfacing only enough to spout hate-filled rants. Apparently unsatisfied with being merely allowed to travel despite his status as a fugitive from the law, he then applauded the 9/11 attacks, thus provoking the repeal of that passport.

After being arrested in Japan, he renounced citizenship and negotiated Icelandic citizenship. He died in Iceland a bitter and ranting victim of too many perceived slights to count.

Unfortunately, 1950s US policy helped create "Crazy Bobby" because the CIA had 750 pages worth of file on his mother because she attended protests and tapped his childhood phone because he frequented a Russian bookstore to study chess. In other words, its easy to believe in conspiracies when your phone is tapped from an early age and you are followed and approached by agents in black suits and sunglasses. I'm not saying it makes his later paranoia logical, but it sure didn't help. I have yet to discover one positive impact of Joseph McCarthy and his witch hunts.

I recommend the book highly as both fascinating and educational. It's a great read and a sad, sad story.

I started playing chess at age five and have started teaching Jacob how to play this year. Its a game I too-often stray from and always wish I could play more. It set me once again to search for a local chess club. Once again to no avail, but I'm now going to find a way to play one way or the other.

Bobby Fischer is an example of how not to raise a promising-child, but the greatness of the game benefitted from having devoured his sanity.

June is My Month

WATCHING THE NUGGETS IN THE PLAYOFFS

AT JK GRADUATION

June is my month, and it bears repeating. Birthday, Father's Day and my Anniversary (12 years this year!). I get a special "June gift" for all the occasions and that gives me more leeway on price. Sweet!

So, generally, I like June. Some of my best memories were formed in June. I got married; walked the Normandy Beaches on my birthday (anniversary of D-Day!); set off for New York to live for a summer; traveled across Germany and France and visited Moscow (one does not travel across Russia... ask anyone with an army); and I've enjoyed many nice and warm days.

Today I became eligible to run for president. That means from here until I turn 67, I have only Social Security eligibility to attain with my age. Of course, by then I may have to wait until I'm 77. So, really, let's just say I'm not going to think too much about that.

I still have no complaints. All is pretty good for the most part. And although I now CAN run for president, that doesn't mean I will. I prefer to keep my options open. In other words, I won't be doing that.

I pretty much work, read and hang with the family. It's a pretty uneventful routine, actually. And, I'm reading some great books this year. With my birthday as an excuse, I bought four more books. I like my pace and I legitimately can't wait to start each one.

Jacob graduated from Junior Kindergarten. I then immediately had him start Kindergarten this month. He tested really well, so he's a go. Summer break? We both work so that's out. But, Summer break is actually way too long and encourages our laziest inclinations.

I toyed with the idea of holding him out of graduation because... well, he was going to graduate unless he were to have killed a few kids with scissors, so it's kinda like "congratulating" him for aging. And, since that's essentially what we celebrate with birthdays, why not? Actually, he would have had to sit out all their program practice and preparation and so he would have worked less if I held him out. See how evil I am?

I actually gave this subject a lot of thought. I don't remember "graduating" before I started Kindergarten and I do kinda have this problem with our overly-coddling society, but that's just my way. I'm surly like that.

My parenting philosophy may not be what one would call "widely accepted" or "considered healthy by most people," but that's OK because our "average" kid these days could do a lot better.

I was scared to death of disappointing my dad and it worked. But we were also close. I managed to figure out that he could both expect a lot and love me anyway. We too often don't expect enough from kids. They will surprise you if you let them. Jacob shocks me regularly.

As you can see above, he likes me. I figured out pretty quickly that I could cement a love of going to games with dad by letting him gorge himself on foods that are forbidden at home. So, he had candy, pop and a hot dog (the last one not so forbidden). Throw in a souvenir and I essentially bought him out on a lifetime contract to games with dad. I call that a win.

Now, he gets to keep going to those games so long as he makes with the 4.0. What? I keeeed, I keeeed! Well, I kind of kid.

Sunday, bloody Sunday

Sunday, May 1, 2011 was an interesting day.

A machine broke and I let out an audible yelp. I then sulked most of the day and felt generally lost until we met up with James. I later learned that about the same time we met James in Longmont, Navy SEALS killed the most dangerous man on the planet. That just made me feel dumb for mourning my Kindle.

I started the day writing a blog post about my thoughts on War & Peace (yes, seriously). I have a lot to say about the book and I missed the first meeting of the book club group. I wanted to get my thoughts down.

In the middle of my post, I wanted to quote from a passage I had highlighted that really illustrated why I thought the War scenes were necessary and enjoyable. (The movie Pear Harbor may or may not have been referenced).

I went to get my Kindle and found it laying awkwardly on my I-pod, screen down. Now, I never put it anywhere without the cover closed. But, I also have a five-year-old, so anything goes.

I let out an audible yelp when I picked it up and saw the distorted discombobulated screen. I tried to revive it, reboot it, shake it, then died a little inside before calling tech support. The techie all but told me to take it out back and shoot it.

The blog post had to wait.

For background, I can't live without my Kindle. I'm lost without it. I take it everywhere "just in case." I hate going anywhere only to discover it isn't with me and I have to wait more than one minute for anything. It actually makes me angry.

I went to the Library book sale, and felt like I was not honoring its memory. Surrounded by paper books. It sounds crazy, but this darkened my mood.

After a break, Dave and I went to see James. Meanwhile, somewhere in Abbotobad or About-a-boat Pakistan, Navy SEALS were kicking the hell out of casa-de-Osama.

We had a good time chatting with James and Jacob and Ian got to play together. It was a good time. I even managed to borrow James' copy of The Hobbit so I could continue to read while my poor dead Kindle mocked me with its blinking screen. (this mitigated my mood more than it should have).

I finished another chapter of The Hobbit and received the news from James that Obama was about to announce his inevitable re-election, er, uh... the killing of Osama Bin Laden.

I stopped reading and started listening... and surfing... and twittering... and facebooking... and, yes, I had a drink. (Topic of the night? Our President performed the walk-off of a major BADASS after his speech. My brother said he couldn't have improved it if he dropped the mic like Chris Rock.)

So, here's my story behind the Cognac. The best professor I ever had was Edward Rozek. He grew up in Poland until WWII forced him to fight for all he was worth. He then became a prominent politico and professor here in the USA. He taught all things Eastern bloc and was passionate in his hawkishness toward dictators who terrorized his home region.

Every story about a dictator brought to justice ended the same way. From Mussolini hanging from a lamp post to the picking-off of each Slavic bully and mass murderer, Professor Rozek would polish off an entire bottle of Cognac and celebrate a piece of liberation. He felt a unique joy at their demise that comes from having fought a war that failed to liberate his homeland. Every liberation was the righting of a wrong for him.

I tipped back a Cognac and Coke-a-cola in his honor and watched people singing on the White House lawn. I scoured for details and essentially forgot about my beloved Kindle. Gotta love perspective.

As a peace-loving person who opposes the death penalty, I thought long and hard about whether I could feel good about it. Well, there was no debate. It felt good. I just needed a reason. I guess Mark Twain said it best when he said:
"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."

So, for better or worse, Wars -- whether justified or not, big or small -- shape our world. War & Peace expresses that because war is the overriding factor of the world in which the characters live, and it provides the canvas for their lives (in this case: dinner parties).

I bought a new Kindle today. I'm back to comfort -- and that statement just struck me as interesting in light of all the relief one bullet brought. I don't feel safer, but I do feel relieved.