When to Crush Dreams

I shudder to think about where I would be if I had gotten what I wanted.

I was reminded of this truth and my own dumb luck while reading a CNN.com list of the ten most worthless degrees a person can get... and discovered that I held two of them.

The reminder served a purpose, however.  I decided to sort out exactly how I managed to land on my feet despite my attraction to apparently-worthless degrees.  The story I reconstructed made me think of Mr. Magoo stumbling around a construction site without getting a scratch on him as onlookers prepared to witness the gruesome end of a man destined to die in a brutal way.

The story started when I was determined to become a doctor like my father.  He talked me out of that by explaining how stressful it was and how hard he worked and how much liability could attach to him for the most innocent of mistakes.  He basically sold me on working in the toy department, and I gladly took the bait.  It was the only time I could remember him advocating an easy way and I jumped on it quick.

Thus began my pursuit of a career in sports journalism.  I set goals and knocked them down as always when an end result comes to focus.  I badgered my way on the Campus Press as a freshman, found an unpaid internship, then paid internships, traveled to New York for a better internship, worked nights, graduated and found work as an editor of a sports publication.

Somewhere in there I got spooked by the journalism job prospects and added Political Science as a degree, which bought me a fifth year of college.  Political Science felt more academic and served to fill the gaps left by the trade-school like Journalism classes.  For whatever reason, I chose to "cover my bases" with a degree that really only prepares a person to become conversant in a topic (the Cold War mostly) that, although interesting, applies very little to the world today.


I must give the Poly Sci department due credit, though, because it revealed a very important fact to me through the voice of Edward Rozek.  Prof. Rozek inspired me in many ways, but his first such feat was unintentional.  He challenged each of us to write down our life's goal, laminate it and put it on a key chain or hang it on a wall. Mine was going to say Sports Illustrated.  And I never did it. At first I meant to.  Then I elected to think on it.  Then, I decided I could not do it.  Then the goal started to feel shallow.  I didn't want it seen on my keychain.  I wanted more.  I wanted something worthy of the shoes I always wanted to fill.  Something more "meaningful."  He showed me what I didn't really want before I had any idea.

In short, Prof. Rozek force-shifted my paradigm.   From that point on, journalism became a short-term plan.


So, to be clear (and get back to the story)... I graduated with two degrees that would later be designated "worthless" in a top-notch fashion (and probably were at the time as well).

About the same time I added Political Science, Jen faced a similar dilemma.  Her choices were between Psychology and Computer Science.  Because of my apparent irrational love of dreamworld scenarios, I argued hard for Jen to choose Psychology (another proud entrant in the top-ten of futility).  Her reason for choosing correctly involved money.  I remember arguing that finances should not be a deciding factor.

(read that last sentence again... sigh).

Had I gotten what I wanted, Jen and I would have marched down the aisle of matrimony with three of the ten most worthless degrees a person can buy (and boy are they expensive!).  Yikes.  This is like when Mr. Magoo steps from one dangling steel beam to another about 50 feet in the air.

So, I graduated.  Jen made money and I made peanuts for three years and I started to feel the pull of graduate school.

This may sound shocking, but working in the toy department is not fulfilling.  Not even a little bit.  It does, however, convert something a person enjoys for leisure into a job and a distasteful pastime.

The reader might think at this point that I would have decided right then and there to correct my thinking and pursue something with great job prospects.  Instead, Mr. Magoo (me) just kept stumbling his way miraculously across the entire construction site.  That's right, I started to prepare my eventual application to graduate school to pursue a masters degree in political science.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when Prof. Rozek slapped some sense into me.

My favorite professor, and a man I admired as much as any other person I had known, refused to write a recommendation for me unless I promised (unless I would swear!) to apply for law school.  I'm not going to lie... that was a bit rough.

He then gave me the best math lesson I ever received.  He explained how many applicants the university expected to receive for his soon-to-be open professor position (professor Rozek retired shortly after he wrote my letter).  As many as 300 applicants were expected.  All would have a masters degree.  Many would have a Ph D.  Many would also have experience teaching.  And one of them would become the next professor of Political Science at CU.

I applied to law school and completely gave up on graduate school. Prof. Rozek used the word "perspicacious" in my letter of recommendation, which I am certain impressed the heck out of someone who read it and probably got me into law school.  My path was set.  I didn't even take the GRE.  And, much like Mr. Magoo stepping safely onto solid ground from a beam suspended by rope by a slip knot, I managed to find myself a living and was the last one to know how close I came to disaster.

So, what is the lesson?

I may have a stressful job, and I may work hard, and I may have to worry about liability.  But, I do fulfilling work that feels worthy of my opportunities and I am happy doing what I do.  I may have two of the ten worst undergraduate degrees a person can have, but I traversed the construction site because someone had the guts to crush my dream and show me reality before I fell on my head.

Thank God I didn't get what I wanted.

Jacob just "graduated" from kindergarten (how I feel about a graduation from kindergarten is a post for another day).  I want him to fulfill his dreams.  I want him to be happy and live a fulfilling life.  I want him to achieve.  I will give him every opportunity I can.  And, because I want all of that for him, I will not hesitate to stomp his dream if he starts stumbling around construction sites like Mr. Magoo.  I won't pay for certain degrees.  I don't care what line of work he chooses to prepare for so long as it has a future.

My philosophy in this area may not be popular, but my job as a parent is not about that.  My job is to help an extremely bright kid find his way in the world as I know it.  To do that, I will have to remind him of factors not usually considered by twenty-somethings who make career choices (including but not limited to "how will I make enough money to survive?").

None of us consider the basics when we dream. I didn't. We all need help to see that.  The paradigm shift can be rough, but I know many people who were eventually grateful for it even if it was infuriating at the time.

Biblical Snapshot

I found my parents' bible on our bookshelf a few weeks ago while poking around my bookshelf. I had forgotten how marked up it was. My dad's handwriting is all over it.

There are notes in the margins, slips of paper with citations and just all sorts of stars and scribbles. I'm sure I had noticed this before or had stumbled across it previously, but such things become a commodity when the author is gone.

Most noteworthy, however, was a brief section in the back. My dad wrote the following:

"The Lord's will for me:
1) Micah 6:8
2) Matthew 22:37-40
3)Ecclesiastes 12:13
4) Habakkuk 2:4 and 3:17-19
5) Nehemiah 8:10
6) Ephesians 6:11-19
7) Acts 10:28
8) Psalms -
9) Math 16:24-28 1)Deny yourself 2) take up his cross 3) follow me
10) John 3:16 - Believe in Jesus"

How should a person take this? One of my last talks with my dad included his wish that he had raised us with a better foundation of religion. Whether that would have been better or not, it was his expressed regret. I, for one, appreciate being able to find my own path, but I take his regret to be that of any parent who looks back. I'm certain it happens with every parent and I can't wait to start forming my own list of regrets (it'll be a party!).

I cannot say when this was written, but I would guess it was done in the 1970s sometime. I don't know if it was study on his own or for a class in college. I just don't know, and I almost don't want to know. I do know that it potentially represents a snapshot of what passages he took to heart at one point in his life. And that is interesting to me.

We change as people throughout life and this outline could provide a very small glimpse at the aspirations of a person I know to have been driven for most of his life at a time when I did not know him. But-for this snapshot, this window would be unknown to his children.

So, I'm quoting each passage here briefly for my own curiosity. I have not done so before and will be doing so in real time. As such, I will record my brief reactions to these passages as I look them up.

1) Micah 6:8
He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

The classic simplification of being good. Can't go wrong there.

2) Matthew 22:37-40
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

A wise man once said "all you need is love."

3) Ecclesiastes 12:13
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

Rule following. I get that.

4) Habakkuk 2:4 and 3:17-19
Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith.

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines: the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.

I really just don't know what to make of this.

5) Nehemiah 8:10
Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

I'll take this as a call to charity, but it seems like celebration as well. The snapshot seems blurry.

6) Ephesians 6:11-19
Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with teh preparation of the gospel of peace;
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel.

War-like metaphors for peace. It takes strength to live in the world and resist temptations. Still not sure what I'm getting as for a picture into his thinking, but I'll have to ponder on it.

7) Acts 10:28
And he said unto them, Ye know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come into one of another nation; but God hath showed me that I should not call any man common or unclean.

I take this to mean, "be nice to people."

8) Psalms -
(no citation)
I hate it when I forget to go back and finish my notes. I now know I get that from dad.

9) Math 16:24-28 1)Deny yourself 2) take up his cross 3) follow me
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his father with his angels; and then shall reward every man according to his works.
Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

This just says to me that you should not compromise principals for selfish gain. My dad wrote the following under the passage: "above - the life of a follower of Jesus." I do remember a man who grilled me on bible stories until I was about 5 or 7. That all stopped and somehow religion became a difficult issue in our household after that time. It became downright unpleasant. We stopped going to church for the sake of peace. At least that's how I remember it.

10) John 3:16 - Believe in Jesus"
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

A popular citation at sporting events.

As I go through this, the passages have a scholarly feel, especially when his notes are considered. He states "the life of a follower of Jesus" as if studying for a test or something. Knowing my dad, this is how he would approach anything, which is not terribly illuminating.

Well, it was interesting, I guess, if not illustrative. He said he wished he could have included religious teaching in my upbringing and he accomplished this in a round-about way. I now want to read all his notes to complete the picture. He got me to read it.

Getting Ready for Crazy

I read Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72, by Hunter S. Thompson this week to prepare my nerves for the beating they are about to take as we approach election time.

What better way to inject much-needed cynicism than to absorb from the master cynic?

HST followed the 1972 campaign, but most of the book is about the Democratic nominating process as the party prepared to face Richard Nixon in the general election. Somehow, HST tells a captivating story of the race that will lead to the winner getting the living hell beaten out of him by Richard Nixon. That "winner" was George McGovern.

McGovern had to weather challenges from Hubert Humphrey (HST hates this man with a burning passion... and it shows), George Wallace (yes, THAT George Wallace... and he WON Florida in 1972... won it big... he later got shot while campaigning before he won too many delegates), Ed Muskie (HST absolutely tortured poor Ed Muskie) and a cast of many, many flawed candidates.

While as many as 11 candidates campaigned for the nomination, some familiar themes developed that reminded me of an important lesson: Nothing much has changed in politics in the last 40 years. See if any of these themes sound familiar:

- The party kept waiting for a "savior" candidate to swoop in and snatch the nomination from a weak bunch (in this case Ted Kennedy);

- Senators suspending campaigns so they can fly back to Washington to save the world (this time from escalation bombings of North Vietnam);

- A decision by the candidate who lost California that the "winner take all" format was unfair only weeks after embracing that reality;

- A young adviser shows great political acumen years before his career ends when he is caught in a shameful adulterous scandal involving a boat (Gary Hart);

- Dirty, dirty tactics to close a gap (a button that said, "Acid, Amnesty, Appeasement, vote McGovern" came courtesy of Hubert H. Humphrey);

- You are NOT going to believe this, but a shocking number of people predict horrific consequences to the country if candidate X were to somehow either become or continue to serve as President of the United States. I know! (Take a moment to compose yourself if you need it, I'll wait.)

- Losing candidates court favors in exchange for "pledging" his or her delegates to the candidate who makes the best pitch, er... would make the best president; and finally...

- Appearances by the same types of candidates we see every year: "the inevitable nominee" (Muskie early on, followed by several candidates as they surge, then McGovern), the "only Democrat who can beat Nixon" (Muskie again); the "Crazy candidate" (Wallace... I mean, he tried to block school doors with his body to stop integration... and he WON FLORIDA); the "Old Guard guy who won't go away" (Humphrey, who actually ran against Nixon in '68 and wanted a rematch); and finally, the left wing candidates (John Lindsay, Shirley Chisholm and "Mad Sam" Yorty) who somehow think they can win.

I think everything listed above happened in one form or another in 2008. It's surreal. And, it takes the sheen off of the whole process. But, that is exactly why this book was fun. HST mocks the entire process, tells some great stories and exposes the charade for the farce it can be.

So, I have now been properly steeled to deal with the zany world of primary elections and later the general election. I am prepared to bite my tongue, try to be diplomatic, and (when sufficiently annoyed) lose my composure over this silly stuff. I may even go hunting for Chicken Little.

Most of all, it puts me in a mood to douse the flames of "seriousness" that surround these elections while wholeheartedly supporting my candidate.

Fallacy News

You can't make this stuff up.

I went to a new sandwich place in town and brought my Kindle. I'm reading a book called 42 Fallacies, which has been a great refresher on the basics of logic and argumentation. The book illustrates fallacies in all forms.

This particular sandwich shop chose to play Fox News on its two TVs. They also cranked up the sound pretty loud, so I couldn't ignore the show completely.

It was like listening to my 42 Fallacies book in audiobook form. Specifically, I listened to Megyn Kelly's mid-day show. I lasted 15 minutes.

I was reading about the fallacy of relying on experts outside of their area of expertise while she interviewed Ronald Reagan's son (the conservative one, not the one who rebelled) about something other than being raised as a spoiled rich kid. They actually argued about whether his father would be welcome in today's Republican party. She presented him as an expert, and then she argued with him on his father's views. The questions were really just statements accompanied by opportunities to agree with those statements. ... followed by punishments for failure to agree with those statements.

It was insanity. I was literally reading the perfect fallacy description as I listened. Although, to be fair, that was going to happen eventually so long as I chose to read that book while sitting there.

FLASHBACK: Years ago, I was at Dave's place watching a national title football game (I believe a certain iconic running quarterback was involved) when we decided to switch to Fox News for dumb curiosity. I had never actually SEEN Fox News beyond background noise to that point and proceeded to throw pillows, shout obscenities and lose my lid over what I thought was an intellectually-insulting presentation. On that night, Bill O'Reilly provided the fodder.

That was the night I learned that Fox News cannot be taken seriously. And my memory of that night came back to me at lunch.

BACK TO THIS WEEK: I then listened as Ms. Kelly made leaps in logic that would scare a daredevil while reading about (you guessed it) massive leaps in logic and how they are intellectually lazy.

She interviewed Mr. Bolton (the former ambassador to the UN who was philosophically opposed to the UN) explain how Egyptian extremists are not worried about losing funding for their country by resorting to violence because the "current administration" will just allow that. Her questions were softballs and she injected a "pshhhawww" quality of sarcasm into every sentence to make her disdain for the president clear.

I pushed on in my book to the "fallacy of fear tactics and appeals to emotion" when this happened:

The TV darkened into an ominous teaser on pet snakes that escape. The teaser had a "lock yourself in your house" hysteria feel and featured dramatic music and pictures of gigantic snakes. I started to pack my stuff up during the commercial. As I was leaving, the snake story came on and included the quote (paraphrasing from memory) "they are actually harmless, but they eat a lot and grow quite big."

Wait, what? I was living this book in real time.

Things were getting surreal, and I bolted that place in hurry. I even debated about explaining to ownership that their choice of network damaged my desire to ever return, but then thought I'd leave them to the Social Darwinism they so cherish. The market shall decide that store's fate.

That said, it's not usually a great business model to waive any political flag when your goal is to maximize money people spend on your product. Then again, it's also not a good idea to associate with fools, but there seems to be a pretty big market for that as well.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I got an e-mail from my friend Dima a few months back. Dima was an exchange student at my law school and he became a very close friend. I hope to never lose contact with Dima. I always love getting an e-mail from Dima, and I've been thinking about his most recent e-mail because of how he described Spain.

Dima was born and raised in Russia and he lives near Moscow with his new wife. They traveled to Spain for their honeymoon and seem to have had a great time. So, what did Dima say that got me thinking?

Here is a portion of his e-mail.

"We didnot feel any crises in Spain, but when we came back to Russia - the TV says every day that Europe is in very poor situation. Some countries - like Greece, Portugal, Italy and Spain are very clouse to defoult. What do you think about it?"

I responded later in a general way, but I have been thinking much about it. I wrote:
"The default issue is a concerning one. Too many countries have spent too much money. The world financial situation will be a challenge for this generation."

But, I think I have more to say on the topic because I finally know why Dima's observation seems so illuminating to the issue. It would take non-Western eyes to see what would be too normal for me to notice. Spain, by Dima's account, looks beautiful. He complimented the architecture and called his trip fantastic. So, why does Dima's question illuminate the issue?

Because Europe and the rest of the Western world has brought itself to the knife's edge financially to maintain an obscene lifestyle. So many countries are ready to default because they were willing to borrow not just to fill emergency needs or invest in itself, but to finance an unsustainable standard of living without long-term sanity.

It would be like discovering that a millionaire went bankrupt. The thing is, though, that millionaire's go bankrupt all the time. When I learned that former Denver Nugget player, legend and coach Dan Issel went bankrupt, I was surprised. The newspaper listed debts of a lavish lifestyle. Horses, a leveraged mansion, and more vet bills than should be incurred in 10 lifetimes (in a related note, horses will ruin even the very rich... I've seen this particular thing happen many times).

Yet, if I were to have visited Issel the day before he went bankrupt, I bet I would have been impressed with his estate. I cannot know what it was like for sure, but it seems fair to guess that it would have seemed fancy. Mr. Issel aside, I bet some millionaire somewhere paid for the house cleaning service while skipping house payments. And, the place would look wonderful!

It seems to be the side-effect of having too much.

I visited Dima in 2003 and had a great time. While there, I took detailed mental pictures of the little differences. Russia seemed like the burgeoning capitalist society everyone says it is. It was rough around the edges and looked like a country trying to make its way. Much was similar, but it was wilder, unregulated (I do not think regulation exists there) and rugged.

Dima once complained about seat belt laws while a student here in the states. I remember him saying, "and you guys say you are so free!" We all laughed about that one. As I think about it now, it makes me think of the Internet comedy sensation "First World Problems." These pictures feature people who look absolutely miserable, sad or frantic and feature saying like: "I poured a bowl of cereal before checking to see if we had any milk. We didn't."

The point is that his perspective makes this "crisis" look so much different to me. When someone is going broke, we think of that person selling the extra toaster or downgrading vehicles. What Dima showed me was that broke people can also go down the drain while lighting cigarettes with $100 bills. Russia looked like a country trying to upgrade to own its very own toaster. Meanwhile, Spain and much of the West in general is "supposedly" going broke without selling any of its 10 toasters.

We bitch. Things are comfortable, but we bitch. And we can't give up any of our 20 toasters even though we can't pay rent. In fact, we "consider" giving up one toaster even though everyone should know that won't solve anything. Seriously, have you listened to our political discourse on this? We don't want to give up ANYTHING of any actual value. Fighting a 3% tax hike on the wealthy is like saying we shouldn't give up ONE toaster even though that wouldn't help much anyway.

We won't even go down the drain lighting $50 bills instead of $100. So, we look a little too much like Dan Issel's house probably looked before he filed the bankruptcy, complete with stables and spotless banister.

In short, we all must look like fools.

Updates

... Jacob is rocking Kindergarten. He's destroying it. The kid likes to learn and he's good at it. He's lapping the field. We're very proud of him.

... We went to Arizona for the week of Thanksgiving. It was a good time. I enjoy warm weather. It was good to see Jen's Uncle Bob and Tommy boy. Best of all, we could wear shorts comfortably.

... I'm sick of games of chicken with everything. Politics is a series of brinkmanship tactics and it's getting really really old. Even the NBA ended up being a big game of chicken. We will have a 66 game season. I am happy the NBA is back, but the first Nugget news is that Nene won't be re-signing with Denver. Just when I was getting happy to have basketball back in my life. D'oh!

... I'm going to be reading a few science fiction books to end the year. That should be interesting. This year has been a good reading year.

... I now work for Kaufman & Findley, P.C., which is nice.

... I'm only asking for amazon gift certificates for Christmas so that I can load up on kindle books. Lots of good books to read.

... Jacob and I have been going to a church in town I discovered through a funeral service. Very good pastor who preaches very intellectually. It's very entertaining to hear him preach.

... I finished War & Peace and changed its ranking from 8 to 2 on my all-time list.

... One new year's resolution at a time will lead a person to success. With that in mind, I'm thinking of making the expansion and sharing of my story that goal. That and more books read than this year.

TOP 20 Books I've ever read

After reading Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole, book club we all compile our Top-10 book lists so we can discover such hidden gems again. It's weird to call Dunces a hidden gem considering it won a Pulitzer Prize, but it seems to be a cult classic.

So, I started compiling my top 10. I was surprised how quickly it came together, but it didn't take long to start feeling bad about leaving out certain titles and authors. For example, I'm ashamed to say that my initial top 10 did not include anything by Dostoevsky. I am staying true to that initial list for the most part because I am currently reading a book that suggests over-thought decisions often lead to disappointment. But, Dostoevsky had to be in there and now he is.

Books carry certain emotional responses that guide any rating. My list is no different. In fact, I am not sure I would have some of these books listed had I read them at any other time in my life than the time I read them. Revisiting the feelings inspired by these books has been a real joy.

I decided to compile my top 20 to accommodate those great books and because I feel like it.

So, without further ado, my top 20 books of all time.

20. (tie) Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell and Moonwalking with Einstein, by Josh Foer. So sue me, I'm adding a book. I couldn't leave either off, so they can both carry the "behavior science" flag that would be wildly missed among any list of my favorite books. Outliers changed how I look at and handle people and Einstein showed me how to use memory palaces.

19. Downtown Owl, by Chuck Klosterman. I read this book after I had finished a draft of my short story and decided this was the kind of book I wanted to write. This book is awesome. It's very "slice-of-life." It has some great phrasing... such as: "He told Cindy Brewer that her voice reminded him of 'a cuntier version of Joan Rivers;' or "He probably enjoyed remembering their conversations more than he ever enjoyed having them;" or "He once punched an alter boy in the chest for ringing a bell incorrectly (which, to be fair, did improve the overall quality of pre-Mass bell ringing by an unbelievable degree."

This book is about a small town and the basic "goings-on" about town. The writing is witty and fun. It is enjoyable and intelligent. I enjoyed it very much.

18. The Book of Basketball, by Bill Simmons. That's right, a basketball book. I laughed so hard reading this book. I love the NBA and basketball. I also love comedy and this book is one of the funniest I've ever read. I stayed up late waiting for the kindle release with my kindle logged on so I could start reading as soon as possible. I've read it twice in a year's time and may read the paperback yet this year. Dave included a book by a wrestler, and I'll include Simmons.

17. Profiles in Courage, by John Fitzgerald Kennedy. I took this book with me to New York when I had a summer internship at Time, Inc. Instead of going out in Manhattan, I read this book and was inspired to aim a little higher. A very inspiring book with great examples of political courage.

16. Guns, Germs & Steele, by J. Diamond. Diamond asks one of the boldest and most uncomfortable questions about human history: Why did certain societies and people progress faster than others? He answers that question definitively. Although his book was very, very detailed and thick with information, I think his conclusion is simple. The mass of information proves his simple conclusion conclusively in my mind. The difference? Chance. Geography. I am convinced that any group of people, if they began civilization at the Fertile Crescent, would have been the ones to thrive rather than suffer. This book was not always easy to read (and sometimes downright difficult), but it earned the Pulitzer it won.

15. Bearing the Cross, by David Garrow. The definitive history of the Civil Rights movement and Martin Luther King, Jr. (one of my heroes). A view inside the dirty work of moving a people past prejudice (at least in the legal sense). The burdens of being the face of the civil rights movement were beyond comprehension. King is shown with all his brilliance and his flaws equally. An inside look at the cross he carried will leave you breathless.

14. Brothers Karamozov, by Fyodore Dostoevky. The greatest diversity of deeply plumbed characters I am aware of in literature. The characters serve purposely diverse and yet interdependent personalities and paradigms. The concepts tackled in this book are deep and thorough. The Grand Inquisitor is a masterpiece of its own and it is just a part of one chapter. This book is listed as the greatest novel ever written by more than a few sources.

13. Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole. Ignatius J. Reilly is one of my favorite characters ever created in literature. This book is funny and a complete joy to read. I just finished it and it made a very strong initial impression that carried through the duration of the book.

12. 1984, by George Orwell. I did not read this book in high school like so many others. I read it many years later, but I enjoyed it deeply. This book introduced words and concepts to our culture and our dictionary (groupthink... Big Brother... etc.). This book impacted our culture and it will make you think long and hard.

11. Memoirs of the Second World War, by Winston Churchill. A first-hand account of WWII by one of its heroes. You will hear Churchill's voice on every page. I love that he makes no bones about this being his attempt to win the narrative of the war. I also love the amazing information and his unique and brilliant (although un-apologetically self-serving) commentary.

10. Crime and Punishment, by Fyodore Dostoevsky. The only author who can stand in the same zip code with Dostoevsky on character depth is Leo Tolstoy. It's those two alone and then everyone else looking up at them. Raskolnikov is an all-time great character and Dostoevsky's creation of his inner dialogue is brilliant. The reader is inserted into Raskolnikov's mind and witnesses his guilt, survival instincts and torment. It is a book about the mind of a man trying to cover up his crime. This is Dostoevsky at his best (and I say this even though Brothers Karamozov is widely considered his masterpiece).

9. A Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger. I do not remember much of the plot. I remember Holden Caulfield and that I related to this book because I had moved during my 10th grade year. The famous quote from this book spoke to me at that time: "Don't ever tell anyone anything. If you do, you start missing everyone." That quote fit for me when I read it.

8. War & Peace, by Leo Tolstoy. I am almost done with this one, but I need to put it here with flexibility to move (but not too much) either direction. Already, this book has proven to be profound in a way I can appreciate only as an adult. This book is the wisest novel I have ever read about people. To paraphrase one of our "gifted and talented" book club members, "if you can't relate to a character in a deep way, you aren't paying attention." It is true, as shown by the many posts made on this blog about this amazing tome.

7. The Old Man and the Sea, by Earnest Hemingway. I have read this book probably 4 or 5 times. It is brilliantly written, and the story is so wonderful and pure. This book was one of the first I was able to appreciate on a deep level. I read it in 8th grade. The story is so simple, and the fisherman in this book is a monumental character in literature. I read this book in German (Der Alte Mann und Das Meer) and somehow felt like I was reading it anew. And yet, nothing was different.

6. A World Apart, by Gustaw Herling. Among all the sadness and horror of this book, the part that I will never forget involves the most painful and yet joyous defecation ever described. He describes the joy of freedom from a Gulag while emptying his body of a turd that had been so thoroughly mined for nutrients by his starving body that it was essentially a rock. I have at times read just that chapter because of the amazing power of that scene. The tears of pain and joy are powerfully described.

5. The First American, the Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin, by H.W. Brands. I love Benjamin Franklin. The amount of information in this book was amazing and it was a page-turner even though it is very long.

The introduction will pull you in for good. From the Prologue, I can still see the image placed in my brain by the author of Franklin walking into Parliament as a loyal British citizen, suffering a humiliation that clarified the true divide in his mind between Britain and the Colonies, and then leave as the first American citizen. The writing was gripping. a few tastes...

Revolutions are not made in a morning, nor enemies lost in a day. But Britain did itself more damage in those two hours than anyone present imagined. By alienating Franklin, the British government showed itself doubly inept: for making an enemy of a friend, and for doing so of the ablest and most respected American alive. At a moment when independence was hardly dreamed of in America, Franklin understood that to independence America must come.

He sailed for home - his real home- still burning with anger and disgust, and immediately took a place at the head of the opposition to British rule. Once the most loyal of Britons, now he became the most radical of Americans, demanding independence and driving the rebellion to a genuine revolution.

The lesson? DO NOT MESS WITH BENJAMIN FRANKLIN! This small passage does not do justice to the prologue. The reader feels as if he or she is standing in public humiliation contemplating the truth of a revolution begun and plotting a path to shove that revolution down the throats of Parliamentarians attempting to humiliate the smartest person on the planet at that time. If you ask me, a more brilliant person has never walked this earth than Benjamin Franklin. This book will at least make you consider him for the title.

Brands makes his bold assertion in the prologue: "Of those patriots who made independence possible, none mattered more than Franklin, and only Washington mattered as much."

Brands makes that case brilliantly.

4. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley. This book inspired me to a different life outlook. This book is 1984 applied to the social rather than political realm. The idea of "Soma" made me cancel cable television. This book inspired me to use the time saved to read more books and learn a language. Although I found the end of the book much less satisfying than the beginning, it will always be a favorite for the paradigm shifts it inspired. This book also made me thankful I grew up in a society where a late-bloomer could still succeed. I am grateful never to have been identified early as an "epsilon" only to have so many doors closed so soon. On pure impact in my life, this book is nearly unmatched.

3. Simple Justice, by Richard Kluger. The complete history of the Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas desegregation case. Segregation is an issue that seems so clear to us today. But it was anything but easy to overturn. This book will take you to the front lines of social change and progress. You will never read the names Charles Houston and Thurgood Marshall again without wanting to stand and applaud.

The legal strategy was anything but simple and involved years of small wins to build their own precedent. Those cases were then brought to bear upon the next small victory until all those little victories (allow interracial marriage before school integration, for example) were finally hurled together at the United States Supreme Court. Even then, the outcome was not certain until the chief judge (not sympathetic to the cause) actually died before a decision could be rendered. The re-hearing involved newly-minted Chief Justice Earl Warren, who then navigated a volatile issue and produced a 9-0 decision.

Meanwhile, the Civil Rights movement was fractured on how best to proceed and the different organizations fought over how to proceed and whether the other interfered with progress being made. I read this book while in school and could not put it down. This book will show you how hard progress can be even on such seemingly-clear issues, but it also shows that progress remains possible for those willing to take heroic action!

2. Team of Rivals, by Doris Kearns Goodwin. This book also instilled life lessons. If you want to know how Abraham Lincoln held this country together, read this book. I have never been more impressed with how a person handled crisis. Although the book focuses on the team Lincoln put together, it best illustrates Lincoln's brilliance, patience, and almost perfect demeanor for any task.

After reading this book, I imagine Lincoln on a different plane. His mix of compassion, toughness, political savvy and unimpeachable judgment was unique in history and perfect for the crisis he solved. Dave told me I would mourn Lincoln's death when that part came in the book and he was right. After following him through our most perilous time, his death will hit you like a freight train.

Although his burden's weighed heavily on him, Lincoln never wavered. This book made him human. Kearns-Goodwin makes his personal sadness and his difficult family life very clear. She paints a complete picture and his humanity make him so much more impressive.

Every political science class I ever took spoke of Lincoln's place as our nation's greatest president as if debate were long over. I took an American Presidency class and a ranking of presidents was only controversial if Lincoln were dropped to 2 or 3. He is listed as No. 1 on a vast majority of rankings (many of the lists have political leanings, but Lincoln remains at the top). I had studied the reasons given before, but, although the reasons were strong, it usually involved "well, he saved the Union, so what can you say?" Seemed overly simple an answer and it does not prove that was all his doing.

Team of Rivals ends that debate for me. This nation will never have another president as great as Abraham Lincoln and I am now dead certain of that.

1. Autobiography, by Benjamin Franklin. I have always been very skeptical of self-help books. I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey on the recommendation of a friend. Covey openly admitted that Benjamin Franklin's autobiography guided his ideas. So, I decided to go right to the source.

There is no better self-help book, and it is so effective because it does not seek to be a self-help book. This autobiography is really just a look into the life of a person who sought only improvement in his own person and engaged in continuous self-reflection to achieve that end. He advocates pillars of morality that should not bend and even explains his efforts to be perfect, ultimately to determine we can't be perfect, but the effort remains worthy.

Most illuminating is Franklin's attempts to become better at discussion. He studies himself as if he were his own lab rat and chronicle's his results like the scientist he was. He reminds himself to use phrases like "that is a good point, but have you considered... ?" for the purpose earning his adversaries fair consideration of a point.

Unlike many scientific minded among us, Franklin was equally brilliant in the social, political and scientific worlds. And you will see that he takes as much pleasure in the opening of the first library in Pennsylvania as any other accomplishment. It is a great slice of a unique life at a unique time in history.

And it is the best book I have ever read.