- Thurgood Marshall
I've always believed that no one can succeed in this world without help. Help may come in the form of direct assistance, motivation or even the most basic nurturing.
Quite frankly, the fact that my parents didn't beat me or encourage destructive behavior put me ahead of too many in this world. Indeed, the truly special are those who succeed despite difficult circumstances brought about by no fault of their own. Still, success requires opportunity, and support produces more opportunities than determined individual effort.
Of course, people make the most of the opportunities given and succeed based on merit, effort and talent. I do not intend to underestimate the hard work and talent of the very successful. Still, where would even the very talented be without opportunity? Without support?
My purpose for this post is to illustrate why the quote above speaks to me and to illustrate why Thurgood Marshall was right. And, I intend this post to refute those who use the "bootstrap" argument to disparage the kinds of programs that help even the "opportunity playing field" such as affirmative action and government studen loan programs. Many leaders and innovators succeeded because someone gave them the break they needed.
As a case study, I always think of my father. His success allowed me to live life without the pressure of having to achieve the most lofty of standards to even consider education past high school. As for support, he passed on to me the same benefit given to him. I simply had more room for error. I managed to go to college without a 4.0. Unlike my father, I didn't need it to preserve the opportunity. As I will share, he didn't have much room for error.
The picture posted on this page is my favorite picture of my dad. It shows his focus, his perseverance and illustrates his determination. I refer to this pose as "that look." Whenever he had "that look," it meant he was solving problems, learning something useful or dominating a topic no matter the hour or length of the work day. "That look" shows the wheels turning at a speed I always considered super-human.
Of course, I'm proud of his intellect and bring family bias to the subject, but his brilliance was also shown by objective proof. Still, a list of accomplishments wouldn't be helpful without context.
Larry J. Findley did not have the luxury of knowing that he would be able to go to college without a big break. His father was a bricklayer who traded blood and sweat for the family wage. It was enough to get by, but not to fund the kind of educational heights worthy of my father's talents. It was my grandmother who bugged him about applying for something as lofty as the Boettcher Scholarship and would not leave him along until he filled out the application. By my father's own admission, he wasn't sure what he would have done without the scholarship. And, he wasn't sure he would have applied if not pushed.
He was one of only a very few who earned the Boettcher Scholarship in Colorado in 1967. His only other option was a football scholarship to Dartmouth, but a back injury during his final high school game rendered that unrealistic. It was by receiving an honor nearly as rare as winning the lottery that my father became the first in our family to run the collegiate table and become a doctor.
Only someone with unusual gifts can earn such an honor, but one must not overlook the assist from family. Without the support of his family, the direct insistence that he shoot for the stars or the values instilled during his upbringing, who can be sure that his skills would have blossomed as they did? If no one encouraged him as a young man, would he have ever made it to college? Would he have had that motivation at all? Would he have left his talents on the table so that he could simply earn enough rent money to stay warm as many talented people must? No one can ever know. Some simply never have an opportunity. He was good, but he was fortunate, too.
The help didn't stop there. The Boettcher Scholarship only paid for his undergraduate studies. My mother worked various jobs so that dad could continue his quest to become a doctor. She worked during the day while he worked as an internist at night. Yet another in a long line of assists, but this one was given at great personal sacrifice.
The end result? He was a researcher who pioneered medical advances in sleep apnea, published hundreds of articles (including in the New England Journal of Medicine) and spoke all over the world; he became a top-notch pulmonary doctor and managed to be involved in the lives of his children. None of it would have been possible alone; even for someone as talented as he was.
Obviously, none of that would have happened without a brain that worked like a jet engine. But, dad never let anyone forget that the best results in life are born of support and family. In short, humility and recognition completes the truly successful person.
I am grateful for the support I have received and humbled in the knowledge that I had it easier than my father did. My parents were great to us and supported us in every way. They tried to direct us to the right path and were generous in many ways. They encouraged us to be independent and work hard (that's why they only helped with half the tuition for me), but we always knew they were there. Finally, they had the means to open opportunities they never had. What a gift.
Just like my father, I also benefited from the assistance of a wife willing to help me accomplish a goal. Without Jen's support in every way, my schooling would have ended much sooner. I could spend the rest of my life trying to repay her support, but, as my parents did, the best repayment comes from paying it forward.
We already feel like we have opened a few doors early for Jacob simply because we do not neglect him. But, the long-term effort through his childhood will be our opportunity to pay forward what each of us has already received. It is our obligation.
When you think about it, the notion of "pulling oneself up by bootstraps" defies physics. It also defies reality. Anytime that feat appears to have been accomplished, take a closer look. There are likely many people in the shadows with a hand under each arm.
