News?

I spent time searching for the right word to describe my current disillusionment with the media. The word I settled on is "nugatory." It is defined as follows: "of no real value; trifling; worthless."

Obviously, not all journalists produce a product that falls into this category, but the most widely-available sources disproportionately render their own product nugatory.

This post has been simmering in me for awhile. I cannot say how many headlines have made me think of writing this post - there are too many to count. The one that finally pushed me to start writing?

"Jones-Drew: Apology to Cutler isn't coming." You can find this gem of breaking news at espn.com.

Ironically, I have been following sports news almost exclusively lately because political news had rendered my patience nugatory. At the center of my frustration with political news is its intense focus on petty arguments. I found no relief in the realm of sports news.

Sarah Palin caused my "tipping point" on CNN. I was once a regular reader of the "CNN Political Ticker" until its incessant fishing for clicks with Palin as the worm became so blatant as to render its credibility nugatory.

Headlines for the ticker would indicate which candidate declared for what district, what political appointment was set for confirmation hearings and such other relevant news. Sarah Palin was mentioned occasionally, but not too often. Then one day I noticed a pattern had developed: An equal number of pro- and con- Palin teasers on the main page attempted to lure lovers and haters of the most over-exposed would-be candidate in history.

I felt manipulated. I even indulged in some of the early anti-Palin headlines like "Poll shows bad news for Palin." But then I noticed the pattern. For every "bad news for Palin" teaser, an equal and opposite "good news for Sarah" teaser was sure to follow.

The rest of the ticker began to follow suit. And the reporting of childish spats began in earnest. Headlines like "X slams Y," "X jabbed Y," and "X chastises Y" became the norm. The headliner was always Palin, but the "meat" of the Ticker began to take on the same petty pandering to both sides of any number of grade-school type name-calling. Here's an example of what is currently on the CNN Political Ticker as I type this:

"Gore and O'Reilly trade jabs." (Wait, am I reading CNN or TMZ?)

"Limbaugh surprises Elton John." (He asked that John perform for him for an event rather than, oh, I don't know, try to kill him for being gay.)

"Snooki gushes over Dubya." (That's right, a @#&%ing reality star's opinion!)

"Boehner: Not sorry for tears." (Apparently Republicans are supposed to apologize for their emotions. On second thought, that makes sense.)

"Bush daughter breaks with dad on big issue." (The answer: Gay marriage. Its the only issue Republican family members seem to disagree on).

"Obama no longer the same?" (WTF? Seriously... WTF? It turns out he's now focusing on promises he can keep. Again, WTF? They make is sound like he took up drinking.)

"Gore says snow does not disprove global warming." (Um... do people think it does? And if they do, aren't those people too busy staring at their padded walls to read the ticker?)

To be fair, there are still a number of relevant posts and I cherry-picked the most egregious. But, still, I didn't even have to dig deep to find those turds. It's about 50-50 on ridiculous vs. relevant. The only shocker was that Palin was not as prominent today as usual (although there was a post that "Romney is up on Palin.")

That is the phenomenon that chased me to ESPN. To reward my decision, ESPN incessantly reported the various twitter comments made about Jay Cutler's inability to finish the NFC title game. And, that, ladies and gentlemen, led to a headline that Maurice Jones-Drew will not apologize.

I give up. Then I realized that I probably shouldn't expect more from a medium that became mainstream only because it offered porn on demand. Once I remembered that, this all made perfect sense.