Getting Ready for Crazy

I read Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72, by Hunter S. Thompson this week to prepare my nerves for the beating they are about to take as we approach election time.

What better way to inject much-needed cynicism than to absorb from the master cynic?

HST followed the 1972 campaign, but most of the book is about the Democratic nominating process as the party prepared to face Richard Nixon in the general election. Somehow, HST tells a captivating story of the race that will lead to the winner getting the living hell beaten out of him by Richard Nixon. That "winner" was George McGovern.

McGovern had to weather challenges from Hubert Humphrey (HST hates this man with a burning passion... and it shows), George Wallace (yes, THAT George Wallace... and he WON Florida in 1972... won it big... he later got shot while campaigning before he won too many delegates), Ed Muskie (HST absolutely tortured poor Ed Muskie) and a cast of many, many flawed candidates.

While as many as 11 candidates campaigned for the nomination, some familiar themes developed that reminded me of an important lesson: Nothing much has changed in politics in the last 40 years. See if any of these themes sound familiar:

- The party kept waiting for a "savior" candidate to swoop in and snatch the nomination from a weak bunch (in this case Ted Kennedy);

- Senators suspending campaigns so they can fly back to Washington to save the world (this time from escalation bombings of North Vietnam);

- A decision by the candidate who lost California that the "winner take all" format was unfair only weeks after embracing that reality;

- A young adviser shows great political acumen years before his career ends when he is caught in a shameful adulterous scandal involving a boat (Gary Hart);

- Dirty, dirty tactics to close a gap (a button that said, "Acid, Amnesty, Appeasement, vote McGovern" came courtesy of Hubert H. Humphrey);

- You are NOT going to believe this, but a shocking number of people predict horrific consequences to the country if candidate X were to somehow either become or continue to serve as President of the United States. I know! (Take a moment to compose yourself if you need it, I'll wait.)

- Losing candidates court favors in exchange for "pledging" his or her delegates to the candidate who makes the best pitch, er... would make the best president; and finally...

- Appearances by the same types of candidates we see every year: "the inevitable nominee" (Muskie early on, followed by several candidates as they surge, then McGovern), the "only Democrat who can beat Nixon" (Muskie again); the "Crazy candidate" (Wallace... I mean, he tried to block school doors with his body to stop integration... and he WON FLORIDA); the "Old Guard guy who won't go away" (Humphrey, who actually ran against Nixon in '68 and wanted a rematch); and finally, the left wing candidates (John Lindsay, Shirley Chisholm and "Mad Sam" Yorty) who somehow think they can win.

I think everything listed above happened in one form or another in 2008. It's surreal. And, it takes the sheen off of the whole process. But, that is exactly why this book was fun. HST mocks the entire process, tells some great stories and exposes the charade for the farce it can be.

So, I have now been properly steeled to deal with the zany world of primary elections and later the general election. I am prepared to bite my tongue, try to be diplomatic, and (when sufficiently annoyed) lose my composure over this silly stuff. I may even go hunting for Chicken Little.

Most of all, it puts me in a mood to douse the flames of "seriousness" that surround these elections while wholeheartedly supporting my candidate.