Messed with by a Ghost

It took me about two seconds to realize I could never spoil this book for anyone by writing about it now.  Not even if I wanted to.

You cannot spoil this book because it has no resolution, but that is the point.  Life often goes unresolved.  I saw a quote the other day that expressed how unlikely it would be for real life to ever find a publisher.  It is over-long and often lacks resolution.  David Foster Wallace makes that point with his usual brilliant writing.  The book is thought-provoking, smart and hilarious.

DFW never finished The Pale King.  But, it wouldn't have a traditional "ending" even if he had finished it.  In fact, his notes indicate that, although plot lines were drawn out, nothing ever would ultimately resolve.

I have written before on this blog that DFW will mess with you.  He does that in this book as well.  He starts by introducing a concept, and in this book that concept is boredom.  He then discussed that concept and, before you know it, he illustrates it without telling you by creating the experience for you, the reader.  The reader does not realize it until the point becomes obvious.

In this case, he illustrates how to deal with boredom by using painstaking description of tedium.  You then realize that your own patience is being strained and tested.  But, and here is where his talent comes in, he makes you experience the tedium while captive and even engrossed.  How is that possible?  I'm not sure, and it makes me feel toyed with.  I find myself experiencing the sensation he seeks to prove and can only give a side-smile and think "touche, Mr. Wallace... touche."

One of the best examples of his manipulation of the reader is when a character says "rest assured that I am not Chris Fogle, and that I have no intention of inflicting on you a regurgitation of every last sentence and passing thought I happen to recall."

He then proceeds to regurgitate every possible detail and thought within the story.  So, how does DFW illustrate the mundane life in The Pale King?  Here are some:

- He takes you into a stuck elevator for an overly-long articulation of "what's wrong with Americans today" that seems so cliche and typical of every age and generation without having the characters make more than a passing reference of the hours that have gone by.   They pass the time with deep, even if well plumbed, discussion.  You feel the frustration of the character who is not interested while the others blather on.

- He takes you into a traffic jam and describes every single indication of discomfort for every passenger, the construction zone and every delay from traffic to speed bump.

- He takes you into the theoretical scenario of value-maximization that would happen in a progressive tax system where every customer would buy groceries in $5.00 increments to pay the least possible taxes and how that would absolutely happen because of the mythical "rational person" brought to us by theoretical economics.

- He takes you into the scattered mind of a man who cannot stop talking about himself.  You learn about everything from drugs he has used to the motivations to succeed and how impacting his father's death was on his life.  You also learn about the cartoon-ridiculous yet amusing way his father died.  Just try not to be ashamed of yourself for chuckling while this slapstick death is described in hushed tones.  It's... I mean, I chuckled and felt terrible for it.

- He engrosses you in a discussion between a computer-like man and an attractive woman about the concept of attractiveness and the reaction people have to being called interesting.  It is fantastic, but also another way to cut through a lull in the action at a gathering.

- One character sweats so profusely and his mind focuses on everything around him that could cause an outbreak of sweat.  He even tries to determine the level of attractiveness of a woman behind him to avoid allowing her appearance to inspire sweat.   He illustrates how many items one mind can focus on at a time.

- He illustrates the best way to hide information as the sharing of all information.  Specifically, he writes: "abstruse dullness is actually a much more effective shield than is secrecy.  For the great disadvantage of secrecy is that it's interesting.  People are drawn to secrets; they can't help it."  This concept crops up throughout the book.

- He takes you through the process of correcting an administrative snafu with himself as a fictional character (and although he tries to convince you it is autobiographical it is also fictional... and... just... my God... It's hard to say for sure).  DFW, whether real or fictional, jumps hoops to untangle himself from yet another David Wallace and their merged identities.

Other parts I loved included a detailed description of a story about "shit" that ends up explaining a nickname; a beautiful description of a nature scene that ends with speculation that bird chirps might actually be war cries; and a vivid description of flying in a plane.  One description of a cashier being caught picking his nose and the reaction of a customer includes one stream-of-conscious sentence that goes for pages and is just hilarious and disgusting at the same time.

My analysis is that these slices of the mundane-made-interesting illustrate an active, "unborable" mind.

And, that is why I do not feel capable of "spoiling" this book for anyone.  The experience is in the journey.  Knowing that he will discuss the mundane, and therefore knowing what mundane scenarios are featured, can ruin nothing.  The experience of this book is in taking the ride and imagining those mental places through his virtuosic wordsmithing.

This book is boring at times.  But, I can honestly say the boredom is the point.  The journey is not boring.  The book is not boring.  The topic is boredom and the human mind.  And DFW makes you bored so that you understand and even FEEL the frustration of the characters.  It's like an emotional scratch-and-sniff, if that were possible.  Scratch one sticker and feel the frustration of being dragged into a conversation for hours that you don't want while stuck with no way out.  Scratch this other sticker and you are suck in a car that never seems to get to where it is going.  Scratch yet another and feel just as trapped as if you were in a windowless room with a clock, as he describes below:

"Lock a fellow in a windowless room to perform rote tasks just tricky enough to make him have to think, but still rote, tasks involving numbers that connected to nothing he'd ever seen or care about, a stack of tasks that never went down, and nail a clock to the wall where he can see it, and just leave the man there to his mind's own devices."  

Depending on your personal tolerances, some scenes will be engrossing and others suffocating.

Also, DFW's writing is suffocating both in the good and frustrating sense.  There are times when you keep reading and reading with urgency not because there is a climax or cliffhanger, but because his language is so powerful, dense, fascinating and maddening at the same time.  It will make you tired from thought.

I made 179 notes and marks in this book. Here are a few more highlights at random.

- "She might actually have bared her teeth at me for an instant."

- "We think of ourselves now as eaters of the pie instead of makers of the pie.  So who makes the pie?"

"- I know I was nearly always the hero of any story or incident I ever told people about during this period - which, like the thing with the lone sideburn, is a memory that makes me wince now."

- "To give oneself to the care of others' money - this is effacement, perdurance, sacrifice, honor doughtiness, valor.  Hear this or not, as you will.  Learn it now, or later - the world has time.  Routine, repetition, tedium, monotony, ephemeracy, inconsequence, abstraction, disorder, boredom, angst, ennui - these are the true hero's enemies, and make no mistake, they are fearsome indeed.  For they are real."

- "As is well-known, parents can have vastly different ways of expressing love and concern. Of course, much of my interpretation is just speculative - there's obviously no way to know what he really meant."

I also highlighted words I had to look up in the dictionary.  I found 61 and list them below this post.

I cannot stop thinking about this book and even found myself talking to Jacob about how he handles boredom and how he should do so.  I loved it and am very happy to have read it.

WORDS I HAD TO LOOK UP

incised
obtruded
anfractuous
prolixly
anodized
Imbrication
confabulation
aphasia
Solipsismus
limn
florid
agglomeration
Banausic
peplum
logorrheic
circumambient
rictus
obverse
verdant
baize
baronial
unoccluded
orthogonal
blebular
marginalia
punctilious
priapstic
otios
hydrotically
obtundated
desiccated
neologisms
tchotchkes
dyspnea
ipsilateral spasticity
inanitive pica
dextrorotated
surfeit
ersatz
intubatory
semion
trilby
galvanic
etiology
monopsony
efficacious
jejune
anondize
proboscis
didactic
eclat
introrsus
agonists
hypertrophic
polyphony
eidetic
carbuncular
sardonic
eponymous
ontologically

Black Friday Book Breakdown

I was going to write about Black Friday and how horrible we are as people.  Then I realized that, in the spirit of starting things too early, I would prefer to just start my end-of-the-year book rating.  As usual, this super-priced version is both obscenely early and will never cost you, the reader, less (if you act now!).

(Just a taste of putrid degradation to get you in the mood)



(I think this clip says more than I was probably going to say if I were to really write about Black Friday... and my reaction:



Did I just embed a video clip within a parenthetical tangent?  You bet your ass I just did!  I even just threw in an aside right here to get fancy! I got game, y'all!)

So, anyway, here is my initial flushing-out for the big reveal at the end.  Again, I realize that many books of quality may not rank as high as some may feel they should.  But, this is a list of the books I enjoyed this particular year.  This first draft of my ranking (and top 5) included some tough decisions.  But, what I went with was how I felt after reading the books.... and, by all accounts, "Winter is Coming."

Will and Grace

The following post is in three parts and was conceived from thoughts I've had during a boring seminar, a discussion of Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography with friends and a personal contemplation.

So many of our most revered historical figures disappoint in heartbreaking ways.  No matter which founding father, noble ruler or trailblazer a person chooses to honor, every one of them will fall short of Superman.  It can be a perplexing thing to discover those faults, but inevitable.

The question that led to all of this:  How would William Franklin feel about his father and should it matter?  The answer that gives me peace is Grace and it surprises even me.  Yet, without Grace, I don't think I could keep Benjamin Franklin as a hero.

SEMINAR (on yellow lined paper)

I am listening to a listing of credentials in a seminar where people like to pat each other on the back.

Is this what life is supposed to be?

When I referenced BBQ's with doctors in a previous post, I imagined these stuffy gatherings to be akin to an intellectual buffet.  More like a trough of .... never mind.

I am now eating an apple and you would think I rang a gong.  That's not to say no one is surfing the Internet, just that the herd must scoff and, well... here I am.

I continue to eat my apple, but louder now.

Clown-Shoes Ridiculous

I hate so much about this poisonous political climate right now that I don't know where to start.

The second presidential debate was on TV tonight and a bit of a tempest developed at a local church over the description of the religion of those candidates.  These two snapshots of our horrible political climate got me thinking.

To steal a phrase from my brother, all of it is just "clown-shoes ridiculous."  

The Debate

I did not watch the debate, and that was a conscious choice.  I purposefully avoided it for the following variety of reasons:

- I know the talking points and expressed philosophical bends of each party for this election.  Those will be repeated and argued, and points will be awarded for style, poise and delivery, which is like winning the bikini competition at a science fair.  

-  I am not interested in watching people argue.  I see that everyday and, thanks to our hyper-sensitive political climate, I can participate in an argument in the grocery store or anywhere else if I just chime in to any random conversation about politics.  I can also watch as others argue heatedly while I try to order my morning coffee.

-  Everyone will repeat their favorite zingers and replay this debate everywhere I have to go to function in life.  I will hear the same arguments everywhere from public toilet stalls to private cockfighting rings.  People will argue to hear themselves talk, and I will create frown wrinkles by the dozen.

-  No candidate is a danger to our country, and I am losing patience with claims otherwise.  These claims will, nevertheless, continue to be made after the debate as I grind my teeth to dust.  Big Bird will be fine.  Sharia law will never be U.S. law.  Settle down.

Dealing with the Master

I have not read a novel by David Foster Wallace yet.  I will.  Soon.  I have read many of his stories, two of his books of essays and a commencement speech he gave in 2005 (which is the year I graduated from law school). You can read the speech here:

http://moreintelligentlife.com/story/david-foster-wallace-in-his-own-words

I love the speech.  It really got me thinking.

A few months ago, I read The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes.  A book club I attend discussed that book in detail and it was well received.  One topic of discussion focused on a character named Adrian.  I really liked Adrian's character and how he was written in the book.  Adrian was wise, brilliant and articulated advice sagely.  But, Adrian was ultimately flawed and weak like all people.

Adrian made me think of  David Foster Wallace.  Wallace is brilliant, wise and his speech is one of the best bits of sage advice I have read.  Yet, Mr. Wallace ended his own life not three years after emphasizing how important life before death is to the graduates.  Adrian also took his own life in the book, and he said he did so to finally experience peace.  But, suicide is not the only reason the two seem connected.

When you read anything written by DFW, you will come to a certain conclusion that his own mind was his "terrible master" as he stated in his speech.  His writing is so intense.  Nothing he has written could ever come from a calm mind.

I have written about how difficult it can be to read DFW on my book blog.  I feel like I need a break even after an essay collection.  It makes the idea of reading his novels intimidating and scary.  His commencement address confirms my suspicion that DFW could not turn off his brain, but it explains that he did not want to, either.

Adrian could not turn off his brain.  Many of us cannot turn off our brains.  I almost never can.  And, it does become difficult at times, although I have never suffered as DFW or Adrian.

At our book club meeting, Adrian's rationale for his suicide was a controversial topic.  I remember one member stating that Adrian's reason made no sense and that the decision was selfish.  Suicide will always be called selfish, but not everyone agreed that Adrian's reason was nonsense.  I think it did make sense even if it is something I would not choose to do.  And, if I had to guess any one thing that could ever (in theory) cause me to go that route, quiet would be it, and nothing would be a close second.

To me, Adrian's reason for suicide made more sense than any reason I have ever heard.  Peace.  The author describes Adrian as a person who could not stop thinking.  Adrian missed no angle and was thorough in brilliant ways.  His suffering within his own head was well detailed.  And it felt like being inside the head of  DFW if his writing indicated anything about his inner turmoil.

Yet, despite his later failings to heed his own advice, DFW's speech is great advice to those who seek peace within.  It is about choice and taking control of the "terrible master" that, if left alone, will torment.

It is about choosing happiness over frustration by changing default settings and by knowing when to consciously shift focus to something that will relieve frustration.  The example I have experienced most often comes from the grocery store.  I have developed the ability to tame frustration by observing my surroundings or by losing myself in thought rather than fret.  It is calming, but it does nothing for the clutter, which has its own frustration.  You could say the choice is how to suffer.

As a child, I used to revere what looked like elite adult conversation when we would go to the home of one of my father's colleagues for a cook out.  All those adults having adult conversations.  Doctors and their families engaged in deep conversation.  We watched Halley's comet through a telescope at one of those parties in 1986.  I was not yet 10.  It was the height of intellectualism in my world and it looked great.

Much of my life has been spent trying to be efficient as a result.  Why? Because I wanted to be at such a barbecue with highly intelligent people discussing the world's problems.  It drove me and made post-graduate school a necessity in my mind.  Too often, however, my later attendance at just such gatherings revealed vapid or mundane conversations.  I later saw a picture from one of those gatherings with one of the doctors flipping off the camera.  I think reality and what it looked like to 9-year-old me were not the same.

I hated coming to that conclusion.

But, just like DFW said in his address, most of life is about the mundane.  And, to escape the mundane, you must clutter your mind.  High-minded discussion is hard to find, and can leave a person feeling unfulfilled.  Late-night blog posts (like this one) become too common as an outlet.  This entire blog started as an outlet for me more than four years ago.  But, a person must have an outlet.  Well, I should say that I need outlets.  Without them, I would be lost.  Without the right kinds of outlets, the mind becomes a terrible master, indeed. I sleep little because it is all I can extract from my mind as a concession.  Sometimes that just has to be it.  I choose to accept that.

I turned off the TV to learn German to prove I could... created time to read by excluding so many "normal" things in life... all of it to create efficiency necessary to be part of a barbecue I now know existed only in my mind.  And, just like DFW says, what I worshiped became an undoing.  The result was that I was told that even my entertainment schedule had become an exercise in duty and efficiency.  It was true.

No one is immune.  Some sort of disorder happens to us all.  The difference is how each of us chooses to deal with it.  I do maintenance as often as I can, but who knows what works in the end?  My maintenance platter includes book clubs, blog writing, good conversation, and language work.

DFW reminds that we retain freedom to choose how we look at it.  My mechanical approaches to things eroded some of my sense of empathy.  One choice would have been to mourn that.  I chose to make many changes to deal with that (that's for another post), some effective, others not and none perfect.  My exposure to nursing homes and end-of-life decisions through work led to damage that needed repair.  My recent choice to deal with that was a tough one, but ultimately rewarding (and will not be posted about).

Everything I have written above about my self-diagnosis seems very reasonable to me.  And everything DFW said to those graduates in 2005 was wise and true.  Just because he committed suicide does not mean he was wrong in 2005.  And, my own inevitable victories and failures to enforce peace internally will not be a philosophical victory or failure, either.

What path we choose does not always reflect our understanding.  It may just reflect a choice none of us can really understand.

A Clash of Kings

The above video is a trailer for the second season of Game of Thrones on HBO, which follows book 2 of his series called "A Song of Ice and Fire."  That second book, A Clash of Kings, is the focus of this post.

The book continues each of the many storylines covered in A Game of Thrones, but A Clash of Kings excels in its treatment of the power struggle for political control of Kings Landing.  Specifically, this book absolutely owns the struggle between Tyrion and Cersei to fill a political vacuum.  The ruthlessness of the struggle below the surface was phenomenal.  It simmered for most of the book until the boil hit late.  You can see a portion of that in the clip above when Tyrion says "you will know the debt is paid."

I LOVED that scene in the book.  Without spoiling the plot, Cersei escalated the simmer to a boil and all the underlying struggles came flowing out.  I read that chapter twice.  I have heard various criticisms that A Clash of Kings floundered in just about every other storyline, but I disagree with that criticism on the whole.  It is a fair critique when applied to a few storylines (specifically Danaerys), but I think many other stories seem lesser only by comparison.

Events at the Wall were intriguing and Arya's adventure was wrought with danger and thrilling at times.  Even Sansa's time at Kings Landing became compelling at times.

I also got a lot of unintended comedy relief by watching everyone try to cover for the completely horrible judgment of the young King.  It was just so entertaining to watch the power struggle be jolted from left field because of random impulsive (and stupid) acts by the monarch.  I chuckled many times when the entire playing field for power would shift like an earthquake simply because "the dolt no one can criticize" decides to do something extreme and ridiculous.  Everyone just kind of sighs, works to fix things, and then gets back to the struggle at hand.  That was just so much fun.

I also enjoyed the story of Theon and how he became "the dog who caught the truck."  I loved watching him walk the line between allegiances, his attempt to be bold, and then his attempt to guard his legacy.  It was exactly like the dog that caught the car.  "What do I do with this thing now that it is finally mine?"

Tyrion continued his Omar ways through wit and solidified his position as my favorite character.  He has a different style, but Tyrion uses what he has to create havoc.  I love his style and he is not to be trifled with.

And, with that thought, I leave you with more footage of Joffrey being slapped (this never gets old).

Another flash-journalism fail

As you probably know by now, the reporters got this story wrong.  We now know that the Supreme Court ruled that the "mandate" was really just a tax in disguise and a "mandate," were it to happen, would not pass muster.  This is what a three-minute skimming will lead to when the camera is on and the microphone live.

I have read many, many opinions written by the Supreme Court of the United States.  All of them are long.  None of them are simple.  Cases reach the Supreme Court because the answer was not an easy one.   I have read cases multiple times and still felt like the meaning escaped me.

What I am trying to say is this stuff isn't simple.

This stuff is dense.  And, the above clip represents a convergence between the over-simplifying and overly-rushed world of the 24-hour news cycle and the intense and deep jurisprudence of the Supreme Court.

The news anchors chose to be first and wrong rather than late and right.  I blame them as journalists, but ultimately it is a losing battle.  Why?  Because as soon as a reporter says, "no, I'm not going on the air while skimming a one-inch thick opinion until I have figured out what it says and I will not go on the air looking lost and clueless," that reporter will be fired and a talking head willing to look like a talking ass will be hired.

The business model demands that your viewers not wait even five minutes to know an answer.  And, the channel that gets the answer first seems to be celebrated as a winner.  However, I think only news personalities know any kind of score because scoops last about 3 minutes in this world before it is echoed into oblivion by everyone else.  Who was actually first becomes irrelevant and the "victory" is fleeting.

I am so glad I don't work in journalism anymore.  The pressure to be fast with information has completely outpaced the old notion that it is better to be a little late and right than first and wrong.  I feel sorry for the lady who was skimming the opinion while holding a microphone, but I am also conflicted.  I feel for her because she is doing what she was asked to do.  But, my inner-journalist says she should have insisted on getting it right first.  Trying to read from a random section of a Supreme Court opinion is no way to accurately report on its outcome.  Maybe you have to have read many of them to get that, but it seems obvious to me.  I have read some of the most convincing arguments against a case within the case itself written by the majority.  It's how they "show the math."

So, what is the lesson?  It seems that we're all just going to have to deal with this in journalism.  And we will tolerate it because the fix will come nearly as quick and the "wrong" information won't be allowed to sit and rot.  In a perverse way, the need for accuracy has been made irrelevant because the instant media cleans up its own mess so quickly.  Well, that is if you don't mind looking clueless.  And they don't.

For me, the credibility has been long gone.

The article I read about the decision on CNN.com was 15% about the decision and 85% recitation of what polls indicated that people wanted to see happen.  Our news is now a quick nugget of new information followed by how we "feel" about it.  Lost in the entire process was articulation of the reasoning, meaning or ramifications of the decision.  We do know how we "feel" about it and how each side will spin it, though.  And, I guess that's what everything boils down to.

But the talking heads don't even need to worry because they will be on to the next vapid distraction before the tear streaks are wiped off of the make-up caked face of whichever talking head was pushed on camera to boil it down while figuring it out.

It's a really dumb way to report news, but it is apparently what the public wants.