A Fork in the Road

Jen and I discussed the importance of preserving family history recently. She liked the short book my grandmother finished before her recent death and decided to write down her memories. Obviously, that same motivation led me to create this blog. I hope it can one day be turned into a book to help my family know our little chapter.

I started to think about how individuals are seen differently from various perspectives. Stories I have heard from my father's colleagues have painted a unique picture that I could never have experienced. The best stories of all, however, are heard from the first-person perspective. Take, for instance, my father's letter the the editor of CHEST magazine regarding the very serious illness he suffered when we moved to Loveland from Virginia. You can read that here:

http://www.chestjournal.org/content/106/1/328.2.full.pdf?ck=nck

With that in mind, I thought of some stories I could tell that may interest Jacob when he's older. The contemplation led me to revisit an interesting and fun time in my life that, I now know, was a fork in the road, but not at all what I expected. I thought at the time that I was on a fast track, but, in reality, life took a more subtle change that I now only recognize in retrospect.

I long considered 1998 the best year of my life. It is now second to 2006, but I will always fondly remember 1998. It started with a bang because I got engaged on Valentines Day of '98. I chose well and Jen is still as precious to me as she was when we were still in school.

My school year began with concern about how I would come up with money for my fifth and final year of college. My parents helped me with one-half of my tuition/room and board for four years, but my decision to pursue two degrees, and the resulting fifth year in school, left me with that cost to bear alone. I worked at the Campus Press and delivered newspapers on campus to keep my gas tank full, but it didn't do much else. I vaguely remember my editor's pay to be about $187.00 every two weeks or so. It actually seemed like plenty at the time, but it wasn't going to cover the year and my summer work money was never a whole lot (and was usually gone paying my share of tuition and housing anyway).

Then, the floodgates of opportunity opened. I went from debating the wisdom of a chosen fifth year in school to weighing two great opportunities. First, I received a scholarship and internship from the Colorado Press Association that provided most of my tuition and a job at $6.25 per hour. Then, I received a paid internship through Time Inc. at Sports Illustrated for Kids. All of a sudden I had a decision to make. What a change of fortunes, huh?

I worked out an agreement that allowed me to have the scholarship, take the New York gig over the summer and perform my internship as a night reporter during the school year. Everything was just perfect! I even found enough smaller grants and scholarships available to finish off most of the rest of my expenses. I guess not going to parties and hunkering down paid off afterall.

Even my sports fortunes were amazing. The year began with Denver's first Super Bowl title in January of '98, which I celebrated with gusto after suffering with the team since memories began. To top it off, Denver began the '98 season 13-0 on their way to the best single season in team history and another title. I attended most of the games that year and enjoyed Terrell Davis' brilliance on his way to 2,000+ yards. I managed to gain access to the Denver Bronco locker room in Dove Valley as the team prepared to play the Steelers in the AFC championship game.

I was in New York for the entire summer of that year and had a blast in Manhattan. I ended up working for NBA INSIDE STUFF magazine (the official teen magazine of the NBA). My housing was paid for (thank God because it's beyond expensive) and I received enough money from the job to keep me entertained. I saw two Broadway plays (Les Miserable and Miss Saigon), visited the world trade center, climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty for a look from inside the crown, and just basically saw the sights. It was my best summer ever, hands down.

I still remember hitting softballs with all my buddies in the rain at a park the night before I left and having a blast. My longtime friend Wally traveled up from Virgina to spend a long weekend with me. My year was on an absolute roll.

I made a point of walking an hour to work most days just so I could see the vibrant life of NYC and save $1.50 per subway trip. Even though I was there for sports journalism, however, I now know I went there with another purpose.

Shortly before my trip, a favorite professor of mine (Edward Rozek) discussed the importance of goals in life and said that I should write a goal on a piece of paper, laminate it and attach it to a key chain to keep the goal ever in mind. My goal had always been to write for Sports Illustrated. I remember making plans to make the key chain.

Funny thing happened. I could not bring myself to put that goal on my key chain. I even remember telling myself while in my car, "I can't put that as my goal for the whole world to see."

I then saw the movie 13 Days with some friends and (Costner's performance aside) remembered why I had decided on that fifth year of college. I am most driven to the study of the bettering of society. I had added political science as a means to an end I could not then contemplate or explain. Journalism was not an intellectual challenge as much as the honing of a craft. Although a noble craft, that just wasn't all that I wanted. I most desired to study the systematic change of our world and hoped to somehow contribute to a greater good in a more direct sense rather than as an observer.

(Interestingly enough, it was my father who pushed me away from medicine [my first choice coming out of high school] and encouraged me to have a "fun" job. I now know that working in the toy department for me [I am a big fan of sports] was not going to satisfy my need for something else. Nevertheless, I worked in journalism for three years before I felt the tug toward that "something else" and dragged Jen through law school.)

So, I had packed some books and resolved to read them while trying to ignore the sirens of NYC. I read "A Bright and Shining Lie," "Profiles in Courage," and a few others. On weeknights after work, I read the books and got lost in their depth. It was a feast.

While in New York, I was forwarded an e-mail that asked a number of questions, like "mustard or mayo?." Two memorable and related questions asked (With my very confident answers in parenthesis) as follows:

1. Where are you now? (New York, NY)
2. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (New York, NY)

I answered certain I'd be in the same Time, Inc. building. Well, it's been now more than 10 years. I am not in New York, nor do I want to be. My chosen profession gives me the chance to feel a part of things and spend time with family and friends. I could never have known it at the time, but 1998 was the first time I routed my path away from the point I thought certain to be my final goal.

But, as I said before, that goal never made it to my key chain.