Have you ever had a week?

*NOTE:  I wrote this last night and today the Boston Marathon was bombed.  I am not surprised people would do such a thing because I see people do bad things all the time in my work.  I am sure many would feel like the singers watching the TV as they suffer inside at the scenes in front of them.  I had no idea how apt it would feel when I wrote this last night.  I do not edit it so it will stand as it was.



Have you ever had a week where you just feel bled?

I've had a few such weeks recently, as we all have, but these last few just about take the cake.  Much like the video above, I feel as if I've been slowly bled.  Pristine white turned to crimson as the time goes effortlessly, and yet, the blood flows smooth and quick without notice.

I am looking around at my stained clothes as week-three looms.  Wounded by a thousand paper cuts.  I may have overestimated the shelf-life of specializing in messes.

I love the video because they watch the depressing news on a TV (just sitting there) and just start bleeding.  I've always thought it was a clever performance and idea.



Have you ever had a week where you feel stress manifest in your back and chest?  I've had that this week and I developed knots on my back and shoulders.  Tax time for a fiduciary to many different flash points of family strife can be that way.... and of course that's when it "seems" like everything else starts coming up.

If I had a breath mint for every time this week I've muttered to myself "really, now?!" you could smell the wintergreen in Canada.

Have you ever noticed that when you have that stress, you don't even realize how heavy it has gotten?  Like looking at your clothes at the 3:00 mark above and just realizing it's too late for StainStick.   Standing up to it gives you false confidence and the smallest things start to just kill you.  That BBQ stain just outside the blood soak just bugs you so much despite the outfit's established ruin.

So, it may seem like the little stuff is eating you, but, really, it's not.

Trying to find a pen in the car while at the bank drive-up just about crumpled me with frustration.  But, it's really about the erosion of tolerance and patience when you are worn out.  I still heed those things like hope and whatnot, and I am no victim, but I'm trying to be mindful and renew those thoughts as we move forward into what looks like a better week.  Perspective helps, but first must come containment.  Maybe I can stop chasing flies with shotguns and rekindle.

And I get to pretend I can handle it like "Kenny" below and I feel better.




Some particularly stressful items at work came up at once, and these things happen.  They just happened one after the other this whole last few weeks.  A drip of water wearing away at rock is what it looks and feels like, but really it was an earthquake that opened the sediment.  (The clip above really strikes me as apt today... and the actor playing "The Hound" is Kenny from the show "The Book Group," on PBS... a fun show, but he's better as The Hound).  I won't ever yield, but "Kenny" says what any of us wish to say when stuff goes nutty.

The Hound is blood-soaked, tired and just saw fire break out everywhere.  The Hound fears fire and just loses it.  You can just see the yield in his face and how he looks at it all as a farce.  A great illustration, but one we can't really indulge.

I think much of it compounds when you add transition and I stand before a bit of shifting on the horizon.  Big changes are coming.  I have tried to adjust the things that will cease, but am rethinking that.  Even my recreation is changing as I prep for necessary isolation.  Book club meetings, which I usually love, have taken on a feel of duty and will cease along with trivia and other things.  It is all for great reason and is exciting, but an adjustment in any event.    

Are recreation decisions and hunting for a pen in a car stressful? Not under normal circumstances, but when dealing with earthquakes, it hurts nothing to avoid standing under a drip.